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What is "Patriotic Education "? In response to the impending executive order from trump Jeff Sharlet breaks down what people can expect, and highlights why this is something every American needs to be aware of. To say it's a chilling read, in my opinion , is an understatement.

2020.09.18 20:43 Kujo17 What is "Patriotic Education "? In response to the impending executive order from trump Jeff Sharlet breaks down what people can expect, and highlights why this is something every American needs to be aware of. To say it's a chilling read, in my opinion , is an understatement.

Jeff Sharlet is a published author, and this post was originally a Twitter thread made by him, the original link can be found here and was converted via ThreadReaderApp- hence the formatting and spelling choices.
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"Patriotic education" is Stephen Miller's fascism + Mike Pence's fundamentalism. Some years ago, I took a course in "patriotic education" for my book THE FAMILY. I spent a season reading its textbooks & talking to its teachers. Here's what to expect... A thread.
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It'd be cliché to quote Orwell were it not for the fact that fundamentalist intellectuals do so w/ such frequency. At a rally to expose the “myth” of church/state separation Orwell was quoted at me 4 times: "Those who control the past control the future." 2/
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1st time I heard Orwell quoted at a patriotic education rally was from William Federer, author of America's God & Country, which then had sold 1/2 mil copies--cherry picked, distorted, & fabricated quotes for students "proving" U.S. founded as Christian nation... 3/
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"Patriotic educators" teach that Jefferson's wall of separation between church & state is misunderstood. It was meant as a "one-way wall," Federer claimed, to protect church from state, not the other way around.4/
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The first pillar of American fundamentalism is Jesus; the second is history, and in the fundamentalist mind the two are converging. We heard that at the White House "History" conference, the notion we need more Christ in our schools, that our past is Christian... 5/
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"Patriotic education" is a fundamentalist concept. Just as fundamentalist religion supposes that divine truths are literal & determined by (white male) authority, so fundamentalist history discards the ongoing work of knowing the past. 6/
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"Patriotic education" proposes, as did the White House conference, that the Constitution is divine, "god-breathed," as some say, & thus impervious to expanding ideas of rights. That's the religion behind Clarence Thomas' constitutional "originalism." It's false.7/
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Textbooks already written for "patriotic education"--those used in Christian nationalist schooling--emphasize Northwest Ordinance of 1787, which declared “religion” necessary to “good government” & thus to be encouraged through schools. This is cherry picking. 8/
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The Christian nationalists aren't wrong that Protestantism was a central part of education for much of U.S. history. It wasn't until the 1930s that public ed veered away from biblical schooling. Because the 1st amendment. Because liberty of conscience. 9/
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When I began reading the Christian nationalist school curriculum over a decade ago, it was already being taught to more than 10% of U.S. kids. That number has grown, a lot. It's big enough now to make a bid for control of least some public schools. 10/
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The modern Christian Right--without which there would be no Trumpism--began not in national politics but on school boards. Those elections matters. The Right knows that. Those dismissing "patriotic education" as 2020 tactic are themselves ignoring history... 11/
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A popular jr. high "patriotic education" textbook begins: "“Who, knowing the facts of our history, can doubt that the U.S has been a thought in the mind of God from all eternity?” Trump, ystrdy: "the fulfillment of a thousand years of Western civilization." 12/
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That's from a textbook called "The American Republic for Christian Schools," published by Bob Jones University Press, a major Christian nationalist education publisher. You may remember Bob Jones as the fundamentalist school that banned interracial dating until 2000. 13/
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Emphasis at White House history confab on private property. Here's a Christian nationalist high school econ textbook: “One must never come to see... free market as an end in itself. [It] merely sets the stage for an unhindered propagation of the gospel of Jesus Christ.” 14/
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"Patriotic education" likely wldn't exist w/out a man named Rousas John Rushdoony--the most radical Christian nationalist & "biblical capitalist" you never heard of. He thought of himself first & foremost as a historian, "correcting" secular, socialist education. 15/
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Rushdoony taught the modern pioneers of Christian nationalist ed to teach "providential history," such as the “Protestant Wind” with which it says God helped British defeat Spanish Armada so that the New World would not be overly settled by agents of the Vatican. 16/
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Rushdoony also established as bedrock Christian nationalist history idea that secular democracy is defiance of God--that real democracy means submitting to God's will as expressed by his "chosen one," the strongmen He puts in power. Sound familiar? 17/
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"History is God's working in man," the director of a popular Christian nationalist education publisher told me. In fact, he preferred to call U.S. history "heritage studies." Trump loves that word, "heritage," too. (Maybe it has something to do w/ the $413 mil he inherited?) 18/
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"Heritage studies," or "patriotic education," is a cult of personality. History matters not for its progression of “fact, fact, fact,” Michael McHugh, a pioneer of modern Christian nationalist ed, told me, but for “key personalities.” It's the strongman view of the past. 19/
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Trump ystrdy spoke of history as an "unstoppable chain of events"--culminating in him. This isn't a '20 campaign tactic. He's been talking "history" more & more for over a year, chipping away at Rushmore's remaining raw granite to add his name, his "key personality." 20/
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Trump doesn't need to know the particulars of Christian nationalist "history" to make it point to him. He surely doesn't know John Witherspoon, the only pastor to sign the declaration, from whom Christian nationalists derive a kind of "democratic" divine right to rule. 21/
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Another "key man" already established in the Christian nationalist schooling that's the basis for "patriotic education" is Trump's fave general, MacArthur--fired by Truman for almost sparking WW III. That's who "patriotic ed" wants our boys to be. 22/
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If "patriotic education" wants our boys to be "violent men [who] take it by force," as a popular Christian nationalist Bible verse puts it (Matthew 11:12), what does it dream for girls? That they be subject to what Christian nationalists--& Stephen Miller--dub "chivalry." 23/
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Another "key man" in "patriotic education" is Sgt. Alvin York, a WW I hero repurposed by Christian nationalism as the greatest Christian sniper in U.S. history. "God uses ordinary people," teaches the lesson. Reminds me of a popular Trump t-shirt I saw reporting ralies... 24/
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"Patriotic education" proposes he greatest "key men"--Washington, Lincoln, &, now, Trump--as divine. Popular Christian nationalist art often depicts them attended by a ghostly Christ or angels; & texts offer "proofs" of their chosen-ness. This is also known as "fascism." 25/
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During Iraq War, Christian nationalists erected 100s of billboards depicting a U.S. soldier backed by a ghostly Washington. Now it's cops, heroes in nationalist imagination of a new war, backed by angels & patriotic ghosts. 26/
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As w/ Texas state legislator other day, "patriotic education" repackages defeats--the Alamo--as victories & men who renounced U.S.--Confed. generals--as American heroes. "America" in nationalist imagination isn't united; it's "red states," it's whatever strongmen say it is. 26/
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"Patriotic education" has always meant preparing for war as a lens through which to view world, whether the Civil War then or a prospective one now. "Boys, are you ready for warfare?" asks one homeschooling video, "Putting on the Whole Armor of God." 27/
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Such terms come straight outta R.J. Rushdoony. Christian nationalist apologists, "responsible" conservatives, insist Rushdoony was fringe. & yet he was in many ways father of 2 major ideas: Christian homeschooling, & "providential history"--aka modern "patriotic education." 28/
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This gets wonky: Rushdoony in turn studied a turn-of-the-century Dutch theologian Abraham Kuyper. Kuyper was complex--but 1st Rushdoony, then Watergate felon Chuck Colson, & now today's Christian nationalists--twist his thought into a proof for nationalist education. 29/
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They take Kuyper's idea of "presuppositionalism"--in essence, subjectivity--as proof that neutral governance is impossible. Then they declare that subjectivity an objective "fact" to conclude that govt can only be for God or against him. Trump on Biden: "against God!" 30/
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Even tho he was an anti-Catholic Christian nationalist, modern "patriotic ed" pioneer Rushdoony loved JFK's rhetoric for its framing of U.S. as a redeemer nation (JFK: "God's work must be our own.") So, too, QAnon now cherry picks JFK for prophetic proof of Trump's glory. 31/
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A big part of my course in "patriotic education," like Christian nationalist education in general, was consumed by Stonewall Jackson--who got more ink in U.S. History For Christian Schools textbook than even Lee, much less Grant (forget all about Douglass).32/
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A nationalist magazine called Practical Homeschooling used to (& may still) offer instructions for Stonewall Jackson costumes in honor of his birthday. A text called Stonewall Jackson: The Black Man's Friend is--well, hell, do I need to explain how f'd up that is? 33/
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What's up w/ Stonewall Jackson & Christian nationalist education? The modern version partly began w/ him, when Rushdoony discovered a forgotten bio that framed him as fighting NOT for slavery, or the South, but the supposedly Christian ideals of the founders. 34/
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Within "patriotic education," Confederate generals like Stonewall Jackson aren't the traitors they objectively were, they're men who transcended partisanship in the service of Christian ideals. Christian nationalists do denounce slavery, too. Lotta cognitive dissonance. 35/
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"Cognitive dissonance" is maybe a good place to pause this thread on Christian nationalist roots of Trump's "patriotic education" initiative. My 6th grader's remote classes are over; time for homeschooling. We won't be studying Stonewall Jackson. 37/
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2020.07.24 18:55 confessamurder 1.2 The Slasher Challenge

[The participants, still surprised over last week’s non-elimination, enter the room.]
[BC]: Congratulations, Simone! How does it feel to be the very first winner of MurderHaus?
[SIMONE]: It was a lovely surprise! I honestly didn't expect to have any wins, and be more middle-of-the-road.
[DAN]: A story like that, you definitely deserve it!
[TWO]: Yes, congrats, Simone! *chuckles* I’m coming for you.
[Simone darts a sideways glance to Two, but whatever is on the front of her mind, she lets it go with a sigh.]
[TWO]: Anyway, I was hoping to choose Slasher or Creature Feature if I had won. I feel like gothic horror and dark fantasy are too similar.
[BEE]: Creature Feature would have been my choice. I love writing about monsters.
[TWO]: Slasher was a great choice. What I love about this prompt is that we’re almost expected to use tropes and clichés. It’s something that we almost always try to avoid, so it’ll be fun to see all of us put a spin on something that’s…
[Two whips out a small and black oblong case and opens it. He puts on a pair of sunglasses over his eyes and smiles wide]
[TWO]: ...been done to death.
[THE SUEN]: I love clichés.
***
THE PROMPT
The Slasher sub genre first came to huge prominence in horror in the late 1970s and early 1980s, a time period in which has also come to be known as the Golden Age of Horror. Three films most often credited with the slasher’s modern success of this period are John Carpenter’s Halloween, Wes Craven’s A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Sean S. Cunningham’s Friday the 13th. Although the slasher was not brand new to horror during this time, it is due to these three films which have inspired and spawned countless slasher stories and helped catapult horror films into more mainstream success.
However, it was actually the 1974 film Black Christmas that introduced the Slasher’s trends, with its featured point-of-view shots from the killer’s perspective, threatening phone calls made from inside the house, and which specifically focused around holidays or specific dates--all directive tools which would be used by many slasher films to come.
In literature, slasher stories have been around since as early as 1939 with the debut of the mystery thriller And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie, a story set in an isolated location with a psychopathic killer murdering their victims. In truth, the slasher sub genre thrives best in film, albeit with the success of past authors’ stories having been adapted into successful and entertaining movies.
The most popular tropes (i.e. well-known) given rise in horror have originated from the slasher genre, ranging from “The Virgin Always Survives” to “The Supernatural Stalker”, to the use of unconventional weapons and methods of killing. Interesting enough, rarely a slasher film will feature the use of a gun by the Killer. The Killer also has a backstory which often explains how they developed their violent mental state and why they focus on a particular type of victim, location, and brunt use of melee weapons.
Elements of the Slasher tend towards a formulaic set-up, featuring the murdering of teenagers involved in sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll--all meant to attempt to provide a moral lesson for the modern teenager that being involved with any of those things meant death and suffering. While more neo-modern slasher films have evolved in creativity, the slasher itself has primarily remained true to its core, often featuring tributes and elements of the Golden Age slasher films.
In general, the Slasher story includes these elements:
Further examples of Slashers in film and literature:
Your Turn
🔪
Write a short story in the slasher subgenre, while incorporating some, most, or all of the elements featured in these types of stories. Your story should incorporate a Killer focused on a specific demographic or person involved in their past, while also featuring at least 2-4 murders. Word count maximum: 2700
...
THE STORIES AND CRITIQUES
(Critiques presented here are a more condensed or edited version of the original critiques the participants were originally given.)
ANNA BELLAMY
After your last submission, I was eager to see what you would do with the Slasher. While you are an excellent writer, you came up against time and you submitted an incomplete piece. I would have loved to see how it ended.
What I did get to read, comes across as dark fantasy crossed with what I hope would incorporate more of the Slasher motifs. You did a great job setting up the environment and maintaining consistent tone throughout.
Should you continue with us, I truly hope you will be able to manage your writing so that you can submit a full piece and so that I can experience the full enjoyment of your stories.
BC MARSDEN
I was really looking forward to what you would be bringing to this challenge. Your last piece was unconventional and frantic, and in your Slasher piece, you keep the trend going. Personally, I really enjoy your writing voice and the way you are able to tell a strange story.
While your next entry is well-written (with only minimal errors), the tone of your Slasher seems inappropriate to the subgenre. As I read through your piece I kept asking, "Where is the Killer?" I was a bit hard-pressed in learning your killer appears at the near-end and off-handedly murders a random elderly couple when you had plenty of characters within your story already that your killer could systematically kill one-by-one.
Your initial set up also seemed dense and too philosophical for a usual Slasher, and I had wondered if maybe you crossed it with Cosmic Horror somehow, but as I continued to read, I saw there was virtually no suspense. Instead, you chose humor and it turned whatever horror you were intending into a piece of apocalyptic/dystopian science-fiction. Unfortunately, your submission does not meet the prompt's criteria this time around.
If you stay with us, my advice is to be more mindful of the genre and prompt details. I give you all a lot of wiggle room to interpret the genre as you see fit, but this one was too off the mark.
BEE
You continue a good streak of storytelling with The Final Girl. While the general idea of incorporating horror archetypes à la "Cabin in the Woods" makes the story more intriguing, overall, it's not the most out-of-the-box. I will hand it to you that The Final Girl reveal twist really excited me, the ending comes across as rushed or out of nowhere. I think had you spent more time on the Mayor's point of view, or maintained that the Witch continues her reign of terror for another cycle, it would've made the ending make a bit more sense.
Speaking of the Mayor, offering the Mayor's point-of-view as "You" was a storytelling risk that I'm not sure paid off. It came across as a Choose Your Own Adventure book inside of a third-person point of view. I would suggest possibly changing this to match the rest of your story, as it was a little confusing to suddenly be reading, "You edge closer to the tents…"
As an upside to all of this, your sentence styling and description are tight. In the areas of technical skills, without a doubt you have a powerful mastery of grammar, sentence fluency, and spelling. Unless you're having a bad day, I don't think I need to cover this as a critique each time. I know in my mind I have been thinking, "Bee really does know how to write."
CLAUDETTE BOUCHARD
Your approach to the Slasher genre with this piece is fresh and unordinary--definitely not what was expected. You were able to deliver a complete story with diary entries alone, which speaks to your ability to write an effective piece with such an active voice.
While there may be some fragments here and there, it can be easily overlooked due to the fact that your intention was to purposefully write from the perspective of someone who sounds younger and inexperienced, but still delivering what I asked for: a Slasher fic.
I'm not sure if last week was maybe just a bad week for you, but I'm really glad to see that this week's story contains a tighter narrative with most, if not all, the necessary requirements of a Slasher. That being said, what I really wish you would've done with this story is to tie in the ex-fiancé more, as he is the basis for Sarah to spin wildly out of control and descend into gleeful, murderous insanity.
My only complaint is how too random Lance's appearance was, as I was expecting Frank to reappear somewhere, to either take revenge on Sarah, or for Sarah to finish the job she started on him. Because of the last diary entry, the ending of the story really falls a bit flat and a little unsatisfying. Had you incorporated some extra hints about Lance throughout, or simply put Frank in his place instead, the story as a whole would have had a larger impact, and ultimately, the ending would be much more palatable.
However, you were able to describe a descent into madness without going too overboard with it or making it look out-of-place. It's becoming clear that you have a knack of showing the reader how much something is "not quite right."
My advice as a companion to your current success this week is to eliminate the randomness of dropping characters or ideas into your stories, and focus on incorporating your ideas more seamlessly. A way you could do this is by dropping hints somehow, or gradually building up towards those ideas so they don't come across as lacking aim or direction.
DAN JAMES
This week, I'm glad to see you making an honest effort in applying last week's critiques. The only thing is, is that you replaced your periods with semicolons, and that usage of grammar was often misused and helped to create a story full of run-on sentences.
One other thing is there is a lot of telling versus showing; for a truly immersive piece to pop off the page, it's best to provide information through senses, actions, emotional displays, and which doesn't just tell the reader, "He was panicked." One of the best ways you can do this is to stop using adverbs where you could show instead.
As far as the story goes as a whole, your stories will read much stronger if you can work hard on improving your technical skills and finding ways to show, not tell.
Practice, practice, practice, and don't hold yourself back from asking for feedback from others.
GREAN
I really like your approach of creating a great “You’re Next” -type style story combined with the use of modern technology. You were able to keep the reader guessing, and you did a fine job in creating more show, not tell moments than your last piece. Live Streaming is something the modern world knows about and there have been headlines about violence and murder during Live Streams, which makes this submission highly relevant. I also really liked seeing your interpretation of the dark side of technology and social media.
Your story reads rather densely which makes part of your story long-winded. There are places in which a paragraph could have been broken up because you changed the subject midway. I think if you’re focused on maintaining a five-sentence minimum into a paragraph, to give more variety in sentence length to keep the reader more engaged and feeling like they’re making easy progress.
Your ending is confusing, and you did warn me about that. Although it could use some refining, I honestly like the unexpected ending of them breaking down together and leaving us pondering on what is going to happen next.
As far as the story goes, of all the submissions, yours reads like something that would be made into a movie. I literally kept envisioning these scenes as if they were playing out on a movie screen, so on the subject of your vivid details and description, it comes with a superb job well done.
MAG DISSA
For all intents and purposes, using highly popular and beloved Disney/Pixar characters as nasty, raunchy, swearing, murderous characters just didn't mix well with the Slasher genre. I couldn't help but insert the toy version of the characters into the story, which disconnected me. The juxtaposition of toy cartoon characters on a Slasher confused me because I wasn't sure whether or not it was intended as a serious piece of prose or if it was intended to be over-the-top and campy.
When you're using existing characters from another franchise, you have to do your very best in captivating their personalities as close as possible--and none of the characters presented actually came across as who they're supposed to be. Had you simply just changed their names, I would've never known that this was a Toy Story fanfiction/horror crossover.
For the good aspects of your story, the narrative is vicious and you go for the throat--literally. Revenge is a subcategory of Slasher and I think you executed the spirit of the genre very well, even if the Toy Story characters threw the story off.
SIMONE LE ROUX
What I have come to absolutely love about your writing so far is that you are able to take a prompt and exceed expectations with a great story. Last week's "Loveliest Corpse" was a surreal nightmare; "The Caretakers" goes beyond the surreal and taps into current events plaguing the U.S. And, with South Africa's history of racial segregation and white privilege, your story comes across as relevant and current.
I am not going to beat around the bush: your story had me on edge the whole way through. Your Slasher incorporated "revenge"; but it would be more accurate to describe it as a Social Horror cross-genre that echoes the sentiments of the Haitian Revolt in which southern U.S. slave owners feared would come to pass: black people revolting and killing them in their sleep or worse (*gasp!* interracial relationships!).
My only gripe with your story is that you didn't name any of your characters Karen, but I won't take any points from you for that.
Moving forward, I am very eager to see what else you have in that writing arsenal of yours.
I do want to suggest that you watch your dialogue carefully, however. Sometimes, the characters say things that people wouldn't normally say in a real-life conversation, even if there are blades and blood around. I might suggest reading your dialogue out loud to yourself so that you can determine whether the dialogue feels natural or awkward.
THE SUEN
(Trigger Alert--topics of pedophilia and rape)
I want to congratulate you on a piece of writing well-done and in your ability to set and maintain the tone and pace of the story from the get-go. It was gut-punching, triggering, and savage--exactly how great horror can be written. You took a HUGE risk with the subject material and it's been well-received.
I know you slimmed this piece down some already, but I can see in some places where some extra "pork" could be cut out to deliver the shocks you're giving us with greater force. I admit, in some places, it seems long-winded or overly drawn out, as if maybe you were worried about not making the limit or not getting your description across--but, your description was great, grisly, and unnerving.
Unfortunately, this is where the other shoe drops, because it doesn't read or translate as a Slasher. Your "death by sex" aspect of your story had a great expression, but that's where it stops at being Slasher and it starts being more supernatural/ghost story, up in the same ballpark as Ju-on or Sinister. It's a shame, because had this piece been submitted for a Supernatural Horror prompt, you would've easily made Top3 and/or won the challenge, hands down.
My advice--should you continue with us--is to read and incorporate the genre's characteristics more mindfully.
TWO_SENTENCE_CRITIC
As far as this submission goes for genres, this was a successful Slasher, and I enjoyed how you were able to subvert the "death by sex" into "death by not having or not being able to have sex." At first, I was apprehensive as you approached the ending twist with Sister Christina's admission of being born into a man's body, as the subject of transgender and transsexual identities is currently a hot-button topic (great for horror!), and you seem to have handled the topic somewhat sensitively and progressively.
One of my favorite quotes you wrote was,
“What your mother and sister did to you was wrong but a penis is not the only thing that makes you a man. You don’t need it to make a woman feel good either, sexually or otherwise.”
I feel this ends your story with a flair of empowerment, rather than total villainization or chalking it up to "mutilated penis means psycho killer." But I'm going to be a bit real here: while I love this about your story, my least favorite aspect of it is that your villain is "an angry misgendered person" (even if it was against their will). The villainization of LGBT individuals is all too common in stories across the spectrum of genres in a heteronormative world. However, this isn't to say that you shouldn't include topics like these, but living in a current world that is historically hostile towards trans people, I think this is as good as time as any to change the way we see trans lives by not villainizing them.
Let’s talk a bit more specifically about some choices included in your piece:
Samantha worriedly asked, “is oral sex was the same as losing my virginity?”
...
He glimpsed her discreetly crossed fingers behind her back.
...
The attack lasted less than two minutes.
...
A look of complete shock covered his face.
What all of these things have in common is telling rather than showing, and while some of it seems to be there for more dramatic effect, I found that the biggest culprit is the use of adverbs in your sentences in place of description that you could've shown instead, or some of what you wrote seemed a little unnecessary in the details such as:
Sister Christina informed her it was not, but questioned why anyone would want to put their mouth on the area from which someone urinates.
So, my advice is to resist the urge of using adverbs in place of where you could show instead. Unpack the sentence a bit more and show us how that person seems to feel worried (i.e. they have a nervous habit, e.g. biting nails or pacing around).
The hardest part in writing is striking a balance of description without being too wordy, and most of your piece does this, so don't take me as going in hard on you for this too much. In general, your story is easy to read and leaves you guessing, which to me is super important in any work of fiction.
The way in which you ended your story seems appropriate to the subject matter and all of our questions have been answered, leaving us with a "What happens next?" scenario.

THE PLACEMENTS
[CONFESSA]: Based on this week’s critiques, I’ve made some decisions. It was very hard, as there were some very high peaks and very low valleys. Regardless of whether you are eliminated today, I am elated by your dedication and hard work so far.
Bee…
Two_Sentence_Critic…
Grean…
Claudette Bouchard…
Simone le Roux…
This week, all five of you shook me to my core. You all really slayed this challenge, and neither one of you broke genre or submitted an incomplete piece.
Congratulations, all five of you are in the Top.

Anna Bellamy…
BC Marsden…
Dan James…
Mag Dissa…
The Suen…
The five of you are all in Danger and up for elimination. Two of you submitted a piece that broke genre, which is an unforgivable offense in this competition. No matter how well you write, no matter how good the story, if it doesn’t meet the prompt details, then you will be placed in Danger. One of you also submitted an incomplete piece, and something incomplete cannot be wholly judged.
The other two of you, I’m sorry to say that while neither of you broke genre or submitted an incomplete piece, your stories just do not hold up to this week’s standards which were laid down by the Top 5 this week.
If any of you are elim—
[SIMONE]: Confessa! Wait!
[CONFESSA]: What is it? [SIMONE]: Since I don’t need my immunity this week, I would like to donate it to someone to save them from possible elimination.
[CONFESSA]: [nods] Very well. Who do you choose to save?
[SIMONE]: The Suen. I believe he has a lot more to show, and that he can do better than what he did this week! You said it yourself, he could have made the Top if this were a Supernatural Horror challenge.
[CONFESSA]: The Suen…
[The Suen breathes a huge sigh of relief.]

[CONFESSA]: This time you are Safe. You will be placed Low*. Someone in this competition really believes in you! Don’t let her down.
[THE SUEN]: Oh my God, thank you so much Simone! I’ll do my best from here!
[CONFESSA]: If any of you are eliminated today, this does not mean that this is the end forever, nor does it mean you are a failure. It boils down to the performance of your writing for this week. You should all feel really proud of yourselves.
...
...
...
[CONFESSA]: Bee, your story was macabre, mystical, and the very essence of what a Slasher piece represents. Claudette, even though your style isn’t the most polished among your competitors, what you brought to the Slasher piece was out-of-the-box, brilliant, and innovative.
Congratulations, both of you are the Winners this week!
I’ll allow you some time to deliberate on who among your competitors you think deserves the hatchet.



[Bee and Claudette both walk over to The Dark Altar, a table covered in a black cloth with an already lit violet candle sitting on its draped surface. It sits propped up by an obsidian holder. A red pen and pieces of parchment have been put out for them. They each write a name on their parchments and place them in a single envelope, stamping it closed with the purple wax of the candle and the MurderHaus sigil. They hand the envelope to Confessa.]
[CONFESSA]: Thank you, Bee, Claudette.
[She tears open the envelope and reads both pieces of paper.]

[CONFESSA]: Yes, of course.
...
The first person to be cut from Cycle 1 of MurderHaus is…
...
...
...
Mag Dissa!
...AND Anna Bellamy!
I’m sorry, this is where your story gets the final edit. You both should be very proud of the work you put in.
[MAG]: Thanks for everyone’s time! It’s been fun! And, congrats to both Bee and Claudette this week.
[ANNA]: Even though mine wasn’t finished, I really enjoyed this contest. Good luck everyone!
[CONFESSA]: You… have been cut.
Bee, Claudette. Both of you have one more choice to make for next week’s prompt. Will you pick Creature Feature or Dark Fantasy?
[BEE] and [CLAUDETTE]: (in unison) CREATURE FEATURE!
Cycle 1 Progress Sheet
Next up: 1.3 The Creature Feature Challenge
submitted by confessamurder to MurderHaus [link] [comments]


2020.07.18 17:52 Lenda18Julgo Black and White Por-n

Black and White Por-n
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https://preview.redd.it/egu3y1cq0nb51.jpg?width=128&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cad488d0275822a4045ca8aa356c6e6f65717a57
submitted by Lenda18Julgo to Home_Made_Fun [link] [comments]


2020.07.18 17:43 Agona18Julder Dad and Dau-ghter Real Por-n

Dad and Dau-ghter Real Por-n
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2020.07.04 17:51 ezgo22 Underrated Audio Dramas: First Half of 2020

So according to u/thecambridgegeek 's AudioDramaDebut Twitter feed, he's tracked 625 audio drama/fiction/RPG debuts in the first half of 2020 alone. That is quite the avalanche. Many good shows got their due recognition but some may have fallen through the cracks. I've a curated list of debuts from late 2019 to now, that still have 20 or fewer ratings on the iTunes store. Links are to landing pages with multiple subscription options or RSS feeds. If you have suggestions for shows that I may have missed, please feel free to add in the comments. If you're interested in past posts I have made on this subject, check these links out: 1, 2, 3 , 4, 5.
There's also been interest in supporting podcasts by Black creators so I've highlighted the relevant podcasts.

  1. Verity Weaver (Space Adventure, Philosophy, Complete): If you were given the chance to escape into the illusion of a perfect life, would you take it? Verity Weaver is a gritty, honest, and immersive science-fiction audio drama about reality, identity, and what we owe to the universe.
  2. Genius by Tracey Houston (Sherlock Holmes, Romantic Thriller): Sabine Moriarty, a brilliant but reclusive mathematician, is caught between her criminal brother Jim and his rival- Sherlock Holmes.
  3. NORA by Shadeaux Public Radio(Horror, Complete): These recordings were emailed to us without explanation. The sender has not responded to any questions. We cannot confirm the veracity of the information contained within, but believe that the creator of these recordings is acting in good faith. The woman, who calls herself NORA, is investigating a strange series of events that wander between the boundaries of perception and reality. There is some suggestion of organized crime, paranormal influence, or perhaps simple madness. We will continue to make these available as they are sent to us. They present no danger to the listener and seem to provide a source of support for the creator.
  4. Inco by ItMe (Space Opera): A Sci-Fi story about a disgruntled information seller, a mysterious space boy, and an android doing her best.
  5. COVID39 (Science Fiction, Current Events, Black Creator): Twenty years after Covid-19 brought the world to a standstill, a man and a woman who were quarantined together as kids question the validity of their current romantic relationship. They salvage audio recordings left by their parents during the pandemic, our present, to come to terms with their trauma. This is a fictional audio drama that points out the humanity of our fateful present and examines the future we are helping to create for our children.
  6. Putting 2&2 Together (Drama, LGBTQ): What do you do when the sh*t has already hit the fan? A former comic book artist out to re-invent himself. His estranged sister who isn't ready to forgive. The mild-mannered accountant who loved them both. And the ever-expanding world around them all. Join Tommy Hanson and friends as they become the best versions of themselves by "Putting 2&2 Together."
  7. Georgie Romero is Done For (Comedy, Supernatural): Georgie Romero has risen from the grave, driven to solve the mystery of her former human life with the help of an inept witch and a cynical ghost.
  8. Have Monster, Will Travel (Comedy, Cryptids): There are very few moments in your life where you can do something radical for someone you love. Meet Riley and Render. Roommates. Best friends. There's just one small hitch. Riley is a young career-focused woman with a little bit of burnout and Render... well, he's a monster. When Render admits feelings of sadness over not knowing who he is or where he comes from, Riley makes a bold choice: find his family, whatever the cost. Have Monster, Will Travel: they're just two best friends on the adventure of a lifetime.
  9. That Damned Hotel (Comedy, Supernatural): The place: Hollow Grove Hotel, a lovely establishment that's been the site of only a few (dozen) murders over the years. Also, it stands over a portal to hell, so it might have a minor demon infestation. But, no bedbugs!
  10. Desperado (Folklore, Superpowers): Blood magic, Voodoo magic, old gods, new gods: We've got it all! Follow the story of misfits from all over the world, as they try to survive and protect their heritage from modern-day crusaders.
  11. The Pasithea Powder (Science Fiction): On a faraway world, Captain Sophie Green is recovering from a war that ripped her planet apart and left her personal relationships for dead. Among the many atrocities committed on both sides was the invention of Pasithea Powder, a drug with memory altering properties. Thankfully, the drug has been eradicated and only a handful of scientists—now political prisoners—know how to recreate it. When Sophie sees one of those scientists walking free, she has no choice but to turn to an estranged friend for help.
  12. The All Arcadians (Fantasy, Comedy): The All-Arcadians is a fantasy radio play following a team of misfits attempting to find their way in the magical land of Arcadia. Through their series of dungeons and dragons inspired misadventures and conversations- chock full of pop culture and meta-references- the Arcadians learn who they are and what they mean to each other.
  13. Mage and Machine (Science Fiction/Fantasy): A mysterious teenage sorceress escapes from her tower and teams up with a cyborg ex-con with a shady past, as they try to stay one step ahead of the ruthless Royal Sorceress bent on imprisoning them both.
  14. Connie Cosmos (Space Opera): Equipped with only her communicator ring, robotic arm and quick wit, Connie Cosmos fights all manner of fearsome foes. Join Connie and all her equally compelling friends as they tangle with the great galactic evil of Zander Zar. Can our heroes stop evil and still find their way back home to Earth? Find out on the exciting first season of Connie Cosmos.
  15. I Want Everything (Comedy, Surreal, Complete): Two young strangers appear in a dimensionless void. They learn from their unwilling and flatulent guide that they have been summoned to undertake The Bidding. The Bidding is a difficult, no, nearly impossible task. The most likely outcome for the summoned is death ... but completing The Bidding is their only way home. What is the curious purpose of these quests? Who are the mysterious Stewards who oversee the process? What ancient prophesies drive a conflict that threatens to engulf our heroes and the vast Hachne Empire? What happens when a Giant meets a social influencer and why does everyone dream that someone else has taken their spoon!?
  16. The New Colossus (Drama, Complete): A family of frustrated, attention-starved artists flocks to the seashore. One of them has a gun...what could possibly go wrong? A darkly comic reboot of Chekhov’s classic THE SEAGULL, this rollicking tale examines the pitfalls of making art and making love in modern day America.
  17. Peer Gynt (Satire, Folkore, Complete): A full cast audio drama adaptation of Ibsen’s classic play.
  18. Greyhounds (Historical Fiction, Complete): Greyhounds charts the trials and tribulations of every day life during the Second World War for the residents of Shuttlefield village. From a disastrous production of Henry V in aid of the Spitfire Fund, to a bittersweet street party on VE Day, follow the lives of those on the home front with a touch of comedy, a taste of Shakespeare, and pure vintage flair! (The podcast feed lacks the last 3 episodes, which are available via the website)
  19. Fire Bird (Folklore, Complete): Fire Bird tells the story of Prince Ivan Tsarevich, youngest son of a powerful Tsar who leaves the comforts of the Mortal Lands to venture into the Wilds, where creatures of myth still dwell and danger lies around every turn. Unknowingly drawn into a deadly battle of wills by an immortal sorcerer . . .A labour of love for its writer, Fire Bird weaves together different renditions of the phoenix story with established Slavic folklore to tell a unique version of the legendary bird’s tale.
  20. Dueling Pistols (Historical Fiction, Complete): Both men raised a pistol for the chance to start again. One would pull the trigger to protect a friend. One to eliminate an enemy. Of the seven witnesses, one man had just struck gold, one spoke a psalm to clear away the sins of his son, and two men present were no men at all. The town Madame was there, her pockets lined with treasure. The Mayor was there, believing himself a king. The Sheriff arrived as they were counting out their paces; but not even he would attempt to stop these dueling pistols. This is a historical fiction story set in the gold rush era. The story is inspired by a wine named Dueling Pistols.
  21. Temujin (Historical Fiction, Complete): Fallen aristocrat Jamukha is surrendered to the camp of his sworn brother and rival, Genghis Khan. Told from Jamukha’s perspective on what might be the last night of his life, TEMUJIN: AN AUDIO DRAMA tells the story of two young warlords caught between empire-building and tender brotherhood. TEMUJIN: AN AUDIO DRAMA is an audio-only historical drama, and an adaptation of the Central Asian epic The Secret History of the Mongols.
  22. Blake Skye: Private Eye (Noir, Lovecraft): Down on his luck gumshoe Blake Skye only had two options: take the job or die in the gutter. But worse things than death lie waiting in the shadows of the City. What madness and horror await, and can our intrepid investigator survive it? Find out, in this thrilling drama that mixes Raymond Chandler and H. P. Lovecraft in an exciting and modern cocktail of danger, romance, suspense, and cosmic horror from the mind and mouth of S. J. Ryker, with new episodes the last Sunday of every month!
  23. Kiss: The Audio Series (Serial Killer, Erotic, Black Creator): Some believe that a kiss is one of the most intimate connections that two people can share, but when it comes to Washington, D.C.'s Lipstick Serial Killer; a mere kiss could easily equate to death. The "Kiss of Death," as she is known to the public; preys on attractive, unsuspecting men with only one objective in mind: TO KILL! Sealing each murder with a sinful kiss to the frontal lobe, The "Kiss of Death" plots to destroy every man in her path for as long as she can.
  24. Destination: Earth (Space Adventure, Complete): A riveting sci-fi audio drama about the search for long-lost planet Earth.
  25. The Disappearance of Cedar Hills (Science Fiction, Noir): Broadcasting from The Orion Theatre, Orion Radio presents The Disappearance of Cedar Hills. Join us as we dive into the long lost tapes of famous Private Investigator, Thomas Larson as he explores the mysterious town of Cedar Hills.
  26. The Adventures of Dick Cutter, Private Detective (Comedy, Noir): Dick Cutter, Swansea’s greatest - and only - hardboiled detective is down on his luck, down on his debts, and down to his last oreo. When the wife of a missing physicist hires him, Cutter hopes for a quick and easy case. However, on the mean streets of Swansea, not everything is as it seems. Join Dick Cutter, Private Detective, on a rip-rolling adventure involving mad scientists, Vladimir Putin, drunk hoovers and innuendo. Lots and lots of innuendo.
  27. Omegaman (Superhero): Omegaman is set in an alternate reality of the United States where in 2008, a real life superhero appeared: Omegaman. The story begins in 2019 centered on a reporter visiting a prison specially designed to house supervillains. Her assignment? To interview some of the more prominent villains (some super powered and some not) about their first encounters with Omegaman, in search of uncovering a secret conspiracy.
  28. Tomorrow, The Void (Science Fiction): Light-years away from a dying Earth, humanity’s last hope rides aboard the Dellingr, a ship on course to a distant planet to start life anew. Follow the five crew members on board, far away from all they knew and loved, tasked with a mission that is falling apart in unexpected, strange, and horrific ways. Are all the classic sci-fi’s wrong? Is love really the answer to everything? Or was this all doomed from the start?
  29. The Green Horizon (Space Adventure): Irish comedy audio-drama that focuses on a na'er - do - well captain and his rag-tag crew as they traverse a war-torn Galaxy in search of fame and fortune. Their journey brings them across many characters and many dangers that they must deal with the only way Irish people can; with a bit of ingenuity and a lot of luck.
  30. Path of Legends (Fantasy, Folklore): Magic is forbidden in the Kingdom, but when three children come upon an abandoned wizard's workshop, they cannot help but explore it. While looking through an old spellbook, Philip suddenly vanishes into thin air! Now his sister and best friend must set out on the journey of a lifetime to find where he has gone and bring him back...
  31. Monotony: The Musical (Romantic Comedy, Musical, Complete): HERBERT HANDLER III is a timid accountant with smudged glasses who dreams of a life free from spreadsheets -- and free from his tyrannical boss, MR. MCGIVER. But he can’t just quit! Accounting was his deceased father’s chosen profession, and what was good enough for his dad should be good enough for him! And yet, the thought of devoting his life to accounting is fueling Herbert’s nightmares. If only he had the courage to live life on his own terms, free of his father’s expectations, like his boss’ cute son, Theo.
  32. VOID (Science Fiction, Post-Apocalyptic): Set in the year 2083 the Earth is now a desolate, radioactive wasteland after years of pollution and deregulation have taken their toll. A group of survivors living underground is now the only hope for our future as they endeavor to leave the colony on Earth to venture into space in search of a new home planet working desperately to keep mankind alive.
  33. The Sheridan Tapes (Horror): In 2018, famed horror writer Anna Sheridan disappeared, leaving behind only a box of mysterious cassette tapes. Detective Sam Bailey is tasked with piecing together what happened to Anna Sheridan from the seemingly impossible encounters she recorded, but as the scattered pieces of the puzzle come together, Bailey discovers that the picture is even stranger – and more dangerous – than it seemed.
  34. The Nonbinary Carrie Bradshaw (LGBTQ, Slice of Life): The Nonbinary Carrie Bradshaw is a fiction podcast about four queer and trans friends dating, crying, and waiting for the subway in New York City.
  35. Address: House of Corrections (Historical Fiction, Black Creator): Unfolding against the backdrop of ugly southern tradition, the great Migration North and Detroit’s former glory, "Address: House of Corrections" seamlessly weaves between the time periods of 1947 to 1968 and follows the journey of MERRY, an ex-con and recovering addict, from a rarely seen Black woman’s point of view.
  36. Being Socially Distant (Comedy, Current Events): Emily is nailing homeschooling with virtual museum tours, a fun-filled Viking project and regular yoga in the garden, as well as whipping up something from the pantry for date night with husband Steve. Pippa is getting to grips with new levels of online dating that only the desperation of two kids in lockdown could push you to, whilst Kate is a ticking timebomb holding all the shit together whilst her husband cycles round the countryside looking after his mental health.Working from home, competitive parenting, sexual frustration, homeschooling and stuffed hamsters - three households all managing in their own way. Emily, Pippa and Kate Skype, Zoom and Houseparty their way through the day whilst negotiating relationships with cooped-up partners and the constant requests for more screen time. Sound familiar
  37. Society of Supernatural Safety (Supernatural): The story of Hal Erickson, his friend Laurel Nare, and his various supernatural friends and pupils whom he meets through his secret government job. However, every one of them have quite a few secrets, including Hal.
  38. The Others by Manic Bee Media (Horror): Mabel, a young troubled botanist takes a job on a space station bound for a new world and a new life. But when the ship collides with unknown debris new alien life finds her instead. Mabel must outwit her pacifist AI and win a war against the aliens if she hopes to survive.
  39. Darian Blue (Private Investigator, Black Creator): Private Investigator Darian Blue is THE one to call when you need answers. Is it a man's world? Not when Darian Blue is on the job.
  40. SENTINELS: Point of No Return (Space Opera, Black Creator): Five hundred years in the future, corporate control of humanity is total. The TransCorps own everything; Earth, the dozens of colonies across the Solar System, and the very genes of their workers. The second-class Genens of the System are oppressed economically and beaten down by prejudice, until a cataclysm forces the pure-gene Sentinel security force to integrate. Can a conscripted crew of young people from very different backgrounds change the System enough to save humanity? Or will they destroy it?
  41. Dead Sirius (Zombies, Magic): Follow the story of Sirius, a man who took matters into his own hands when the zombie apocalypse began, and joined the ranks of the dead before they could force him to. Now a walking, talking, thinking corpse, how will Sirius handle the later stages of the zombie invasion?
  42. CovenCast: A Disaster’s Guide to Magic (Magic): Life is forever changed when the Rivera sisters, Pilar and Carmen discover they are witches and now apart of the supernatural world. They recruit their closest friends to start a coven...and a podcast.
  43. Lady Lucy (Historical Fiction, Black Creator): Lady Lucy is an audio drama inspired by Shakespeare's "Dark Lady" Sonnets, 127-154. Between running her brothel, fighting the Church, murdering her friends' abusive husbands, and pretending to be a poet, the last thing Lucy needed back in 1586 was a surprise visit from her former flame... Will Shakespeare.
  44. Finsbury (Comedy, Multiple Universes): In which Jack Fiscock tries to get his tumultuous life back on track by moving in with some unexpected flat mates and loses his most prized possession… in another dimension.
  45. Archergeddon! (Comedy, Complete): Welcome to the village of Bambersham where preparations for the Easter Fete are in full swing! Jane Barkley (Mel Giedroyc), the newly appointed chair of Bambersham Council, needs to organise the raffle, sort the tombola... Oh, and stop the world from ending (but most importantly, organise the raffle). From a deadly virus to a horde of the undead, can the most unlikely of villages survive the apocalypse?
  46. Really Important Person Book Club (Satire, Politics): An audio comedy drama where every episode the current president of the USA sits down with a figure of note to discuss a not very carefully chosen book.
  47. The Haven Project (Science Fiction, Post-Apocalyptic): This post-apocalyptic audio drama will immerse you in a world where climate change has severely affected agricultural production, and humanity's survival is threatened by food insecurity. The citizens of Haven are a minority group that enjoys plentiful fresh food, partly thanks to their location in the now-temperate north, and partly due to proprietary technological advancements that they keep under wraps. How long can Haven thrive in this bleak world, and how will they deal with the threat of Outsiders? Explore some of the causes of food insecurity, as well as some real-world advancements that might help us overcome it in this interdisciplinary educational initiative from Feeding 9 Billion.
  48. The Pogley Wood Murders (Comedy, Mystery): In these troubled times, why not travel back to 1937? Listen to the murderously funny ongoing saga from Pogley Wood and Morlington Hill, the sleepy Cornish villages steeped in folklore and supernatural goings-on.... Join our intrepid local police force, D.I. Arthur Sixpence, Sgt. Dingle, Constable Knibblett and forensic expert Miss Betty Swallocks as they solve a series of murders - never a week passes by without one!
  49. Majoring In Me (LGBTQ, Black Creator): In 2006, Tritan Steele arrives at Hamilton University. And if being a freshman at a school far from home wasn't enough, he's dealing with his newfound sexuality, his recent healthcare, and resurfaced old familial wounds.
  50. Sticks Shift Incorporated (Science Fiction, Mystery): What would you do if the company you worked for started to feel a little bit off? And not just in a criminal enterprise kind of way, but in a reality-bending, defying laws of nature kind of way?
  51. Vampire Needed (Supernatural): A team of supernatural beings, led by their human Aegis – a loremistress named Roy – have been tasked to remove a ghost from a building. But the threat of a ghost is not the worst problem they come face-to-faces with.
  52. Triple Six (Thriller, Complete): A Texas couple head for Las Vegas to rekindle their marriage. When an international underworld of gangsters and gamblers kidnaps the wife and forces the husband to play twisted games to win her back.
  53. Ex Pat (Romantic Comedy): A comedy about an interracial and international romance between a Filipina American gal and an Irish guy and the culture clash that happens as a result.
  54. Flies in the Jar (Crime Thriller): Two friends embark on a journey to take back what was stolen. They’ll have to face the past in order to understand the present.
  55. Null/Void (Science Fiction/Fantasy): Null /Void is a science fiction audio drama about a young woman, Piper Lee, whose life is saved by a mysterious voice named Adelaide. Piper soon uncovers a malicious plot by a monopoly of a tech company and must work with her friends and an unusual ally to help foil their deadly plot.
  56. Novitero (Space Adventure, Heist): Banished from her home due to a mistake that cost her half her family's fortune, Princess Cesaleza is left with a choice: find a way to make up the lost funds or leave her home forever. When a raid unites her with a group of wanted criminals, Cesa creates an unlikely alliance with the crew. She explains her financial problem and her plan to fix it.
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2020.06.04 20:34 snailsalon My (23F) boyfriend (22M) was given dirty looks and comments for opening my door.

My boyfriend and I met in college the fall of 2017, began dating that November and have been together ever since. I am white and from Texas. He is black and from Arkansas. He was the first black man I ever dated, and not because I was never interested in anyone outside my race. It was mainly because I lived in a small town and only had two small relationships before him that were not serious. Bottom line, I just didn’t date much. I was a shy, quiet girl. When I met him, my world came to life. He made me feel alive, loved, joyful, and worthwhile. I love him very much. Our families love each other. I knew going into our relationship that we would face people who didn’t approve or had their opinions. I didn’t care because the love we share is worth whatever we have to go through. And honestly, we’ve been lucky. We haven’t really had anyone say anything to us or any family members upset at our relationship.
However, a couple days ago he came to see me for a few days (we are long distant), and he recently has tried to start opening my car door for me when I get in/out the car. He randomly started doing it in like March when I came to visit him. He stated he simply wanted to do if for me. I thought it was sweet. While he was here, we went to grab some things from Walmart and he said “Don’t open your door,” and rushed over to let me out. While doing this, a group of black women (I say this in the most respectful way, no hate or anger) saw this and scoffed loudly for us to hear. One said “They treat white girls better than their own.” We both heard every word and walked away into the store. Neither one of us said a word until later on that night he brought it up. He apologized and I told him he had no reason to. It was just something I knew we’d see one day. It hurt us both, and I felt ashamed. I love people. All people. Every color, culture, religion, everything. I know there are people who just don’t like seeing interracial couples. I understand. But I honestly didn’t search our for a black man to “claim.” I met him because we sat next to each other at our freshman orientation and it’s history from there. He perused me and I’m glad he did, because my life has been forever changed in all the best ways possible. I hope that every woman/man finds the one who makes them feel the way I do; that they find love like no other. I know there are white women out here who fetishize black men and place a sexual stereotype on them. I hate that it’s like that. Just know, I am not that way.
I also know there is a lot going on in America right now dealing with racism in this country. I 100% believe it’s still here and thriving due to the foundation this country was built on. I support the Black Lives Matter movement with my whole heart and have been actively promoting it and supporting in all possible ways that I can. I want peace and justice for all black Americans and POC, but I know the only way to get it is to fight for it. Just wanted to say this to show I acknowledge the tension.
I’m saying all this to say that I love my boyfriend and would do anything for him. I guess I came here to get this off my chest because this whole thing has been bothering me since it happened. I just want other interracial couples to know that it’s worth it. Don’t let the uncomfortable stares and opinions of others stop you from loving who you love.
I also hold no hard feelings toward the women who said what they said. I only wish they knew how much I loved the amazing man I’m with.
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2020.01.23 16:31 pokerfacefan Asperger's Filipino Guy Tinder Review + (My Story)

Hey guys I’m new here. Thank you for having me. I’ve actually known about asian masculinity for quite a few years now. But I’m finally posting now. Been depressed for couple years now and haven’t been myself for a long time. I hate being single to be honest. Turning 29 this year and never had a girlfriend in my life ever. But I’m hoping sharing my experiences can be a form of therapy for me. I’m really happy there is a place like this on the internet where we can share our thoughts and experiences. If I had this resource around back in high school it would’ve changed my life completely. Not only I’m I asian. But I’m also on the spectrum too. I don’t know if anyone else on this subreddit is also on the spectrum as well or known someone else who was. It was really difficult for me growing up. I had trouble making friends and never really fit in to be honest. People never really invited me to parties and I was always picked last in gym class. I was also never on any girl’s radar ever.
I’m hoping to get some fresh perspectives on my tinder profile. I’m hoping to get more matches with white or latin girls. And more responses or replies back as well. I’ve been on Tinder for almost 7 years now. And I only ever got two dates from it unfortunately. I live in a small city in Canada called Edmonton which is 57.4% white. But majority of girls who swipe right on me are filipino. And if it does end up being a white girl who swiped right on me. She ends up being obese majority of the time. I’ve also talked to over 100+ girls online on other dating sites. And I’ve only had 1 girl ever be receptive to me online and wanna be my girlfriend. And it was a girl who lived all the way in Texas. Besides that it is really hard for me to connect or build rapport with girls online at all. They usually just ghost me or flake usually. I’ve joined numerous interracial or AMWF sites as well and it never really worked out. I also tried joining a site for people with Aspergers even and no one ever replied back to me there either. I joined match.com and messaged 50+ girls. And pretty much got no responses at all. I’ve been going ham on all the dating sites and apps for almost 3 years now to be honest. But got nothing to show for it really. It's really affecting me and my mental health. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find somebody. I really don't wanna lose hope. I tried meeting girls back in my home country of the Philippines before too. But I guess language barrier was an issue cause I don’t really speak Filipino and most girls there prefer a filipino that speaks the same language as them. I grew up in Canada mostly and never really learned to speak my mother tongue unfortunately. I prefer girls from other cultures cause I lived in canada for over 24 years now. My main goal is to find a girlfriend and potentially a wife. Hopefully my luck can finally change this year.
Btw do you guys know if it is worth it to get tinder plus or gold if your an asian guy? Also what are some good openers to use on Tinder? I usually get no replies back from my openers. And also what are some ways to prevent being ghosted? I talk to all these girls on tinder and other dating apps or sites. And I always get ghosted no matter what.
My pictures:
https://i.imgur.com/IPCfwei.png
https://i.imgur.com/rl3r7Zs.png
https://i.imgur.com/t3MxSop.png
My profile:
https://i.imgur.com/TkZE6BL.png
submitted by pokerfacefan to AsianMasculinity [link] [comments]


2020.01.14 10:20 subreddit_stats Subreddit Stats: wikipedia posts from 2019-11-01 to 2020-01-13 07:06 PDT

Period: 72.40 days
Submissions Comments
Total 917 5432
Rate (per day) 12.67 74.08
Unique Redditors 365 2607
Combined Score 86807 50799

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

  1. 21590 points, 35 submissions: Tokyono
    1. When Alexander the Great’s dearest friend Hephaestion died, Alexander threw him a lavish funeral worth around £1,500,000,000. He also had a 60-metre-high pyre commissioned, with 7 layers of golden objects. Hephaestion was also worshipped as a divine hero. Shrines were erected in his memory. (1601 points, 128 comments)
    2. Miki Endo, a Japanese emergency worker who gave her life during the 2011 Tohoku earthquake and tsunami, by continuing to broadcast warnings and alerts over the community loudspeaker as the tsunami overwhelmed the town of Minamisanriku. She was credited with saving many lives. (1540 points, 12 comments)
    3. During the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake, a 10-year-old girl named Tilly Smith helped save lives by recognising the signs of an oncoming tsunami at a beach. 2 weeks earlier, she had learned about them in a geography lesson. The beach was one of few on Phuket with no reported casualties (1400 points, 34 comments)
    4. In 1890, two lawyers wrote an article titled “The Right to Privacy". It is regarded as the first publication in the USA that advocated a right to privacy. It describes the right as the "right to be let alone".) (1127 points, 50 comments)
    5. Karl P. Schmidt, a herpetologist who documented his own death after he was bitten by a juvenile boomslang snake. He made detailed notes on the symptoms he experienced, almost right up to the end. He died 24 hours after the bite, bleeding in his lungs, kidneys, heart, and brain. (1100 points, 21 comments)
    6. The Inca Road system was at least 40,000 kilometres (25,000 mi) long. The roads were carefully planned and maintained. They were paved where necessary, had stairways, bridges and constructions such as retaining walls and a drainage system. Only 25% of the system remains visible today. (1100 points, 43 comments)
    7. When the HMS Guardian was struck by an iceberg in 1789, its captain decided to remain on board with 62 people. 259 left in boats. However, the captain was able to save the ship and sail back to land. It took 9 weeks, but everyone on the ship made it. Of the 259 that had left, only 15 survived.) (1095 points, 21 comments)
    8. The Hays code had a rule only allowing kissing to go on for 3 seconds in movies. Alfred Hitchcock got around this rule for his 1946 film, Notorious, by two actors break off every three seconds. The whole sequence lasts two and a half minutes. (1042 points, 20 comments)
    9. In 1687, the Parthenon in Athens exploded when it was hit by a Venetian mortar round. The building was being used by the Ottoman Turks to store gunpowder, and the round blew it up. One account says the Turks did not expect the Venetians to target such a historic monument. 300 people died. (992 points, 28 comments)
    10. Pedro Rodrigues Filho, a Brazilian serial killer who killed other criminals. He even killed his father, as payback for him having murdered his mother. After 34 years in jail, he was released. He was imprisoned again, but is now a youtuber who advises young people away from crime. (967 points, 37 comments)
  2. 5265 points, 13 submissions: blue_strat
    1. Christian socialism based on the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth identifies the cause of inequality now to be greed associated with capitalism. The 4th-Century bishop Basil of Caesarea wrote a sermon called The Rich Fool in which he asked, "Who is the covetous man? One for whom plenty is not enough." (1215 points, 321 comments)
    2. The Gospel of Wealth is an 1889 article by the industrialist Andrew Carnegie which urges philanthropy by the new upper class of self-made rich. He argues against wasteful extravagance or self-indulgence, encourages reducing inequality between the rich and poor, and praises high inheritance taxes. (1157 points, 64 comments)
    3. Israel Shahak (1933–2001) was an Israeli professor of organic chemistry, Holocaust survivor, and civil rights activist. His public support for a secular state, criticism of Jewish fundamentalism and reporting on the persecution of non-Jewish people by the Israeli government earned him death threats. (1017 points, 11 comments)
    4. "Three men make a tiger" (Chinese: 三人成虎; pinyin: sān rén chéng hǔ) is a Chinese proverb or chengyu (four-character idiom). It refers to an individual's tendency to accept absurd information as long as it is repeated by enough people. (785 points, 21 comments)
    5. Wellington R. Burt (1831–1919) was a lumber baron and politician from Saginaw, Michigan. His will specified to wait 21 years after his children and grandchildren were dead, beyond small annuities he also paid to staff. After the 1989 death of his last grandchild, 12 descendants shared $100 million. (571 points, 30 comments)
    6. The Reichskonkordat is a treaty negotiated between the Vatican and the emergent Nazi Germany, signed on 20 July 1933. It's been described by some as a Roman Catholic attempt to give moral legitimacy to the Nazi regime, though Nazi breaches of the agreement began almost as soon as it had been signed. (312 points, 42 comments)
    7. Robert Skidelsky (b. 1939) is a British economic historian and author of a three-part biography of J.M. Keynes. First a Labour Party member, he co-founded the Social Democratic Party, sat in the House of Lords as a Conservative then a cross-bencher, and endorsed Jeremy Corbyn for leader of Labour. (97 points, 2 comments)
    8. The Hanseatic League was a confederation of merchant guilds and market towns in northwestern and central Europe. From a few north German towns in the late 1100s to dominating Baltic maritime trade for 300 years, its trading routes stretched from England to Russia; the busiest from London to Hamburg. (35 points, 3 comments)
    9. Sit-in street protests called the Umbrella Revolution (雨傘革命) occurred in Hong Kong from September to December 2014, in reaction to a decision which allowed the Chinese Communist Party to pre-screen candidates for the Chief Executive of Hong Kong. Genuine universal suffrage had been promised in law. (26 points, 0 comments)
    10. List of the oldest known surviving free-standing buildings, before and including the Colosseum of Rome in 70–80 CE. The oldest three are in France and date from 4850–4500 BCE. (19 points, 1 comment)
  3. 3631 points, 18 submissions: Rollakud
    1. René Descartes was a French philosopher, mathematician, and scientist. One of the most notable intellectual figures of the Dutch Golden Age, Descartes is also widely regarded as one of the founders of modern philosophy. (727 points, 54 comments)
    2. Byron Looper was a Republican politician. In order to advance his political career, he legally changed his middle name from "Anthony" to "Low Tax". After being convicted for the October 1998 murder of his election opponent, incumbent Senator Tommy Burks, he was given a life sentence in prison. (672 points, 16 comments)
    3. Ros Serey Sothea was a Cambodian singer. She sang in a variety of genres; romantic ballads emerged as her most popular works. She disappeared during the Khmer Rouge regime of the late 1970s but the circumstances of her fate remain a mystery. (601 points, 27 comments)
    4. Jodi Huisentruit was a television news anchor for KIMT, based in Mason City, Iowa, in the United States. She went missing in the early morning hours of June 27, 1995, soon after telling a colleague that she was on her way to work. (518 points, 21 comments)
    5. Edward Low was a notorious English pirate during the latter days of the Golden Age of Piracy, in the early 18th century. The New York Times called him a torturer, whose methods would have "done credit to the ingenuity of the Spanish Inquisition in its darkest days". (487 points, 6 comments)
    6. Location hypotheses of Atlantis are various proposed real-world settings for the fictional island of Atlantis, described as a lost civilization mentioned in Plato's dialogues Timaeus and Critias, written about 360 B.C. (400 points, 27 comments)
    7. Luke Short was an American Old West gunfighter, cowboy, U.S. Army scout, dispatch rider, gambler, boxing promoter and saloon owner. He survived numerous gunfights, the most famous of which were against Charlie Storms in Tombstone, Arizona Territory and against Jim Courtright in Fort Worth, Texas. (67 points, 1 comment)
    8. Daisy and Violet Hilton were English entertainers, who were conjoined twins. They were exhibited in Europe as children, and toured the United States sideshow, vaudeville and American burlesque circuits in the 1920s and 1930s. (63 points, 4 comments)
    9. John Singer Sargent was an American expatriate artist, considered the "leading portrait painter of his generation" for his evocations of Edwardian-era luxury. He created roughly 900 oil paintings and more than 2,000 watercolors, as well as countless sketches and charcoal drawings. (16 points, 1 comment)
    10. Sharon Rina Lopatka was an Internet entrepreneur in Hampstead, Maryland, United States, who was killed in a case of apparent consensual homicide. (15 points, 1 comment)
  4. 2664 points, 8 submissions: nsfwdreamer
    1. The Burj Khalifa cost only $US 1.5 billion because workers were only paid around 5 pounds per day. (1185 points, 75 comments)
    2. "In 2002, Bembenek either fell or jumped from a second-story window, breaking her leg so badly that it had to be amputated below the knee.[38] Bembenek claimed that she had been confined in an apartment by handlers for the Dr. Phil television show and was injured while attempting to escape." (498 points, 6 comments)
    3. "Heidnik was one of six real-life murderers upon whom author Thomas Harris based Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb, the villain of his 1988 novel The Silence of the Lambs.[26][27]" (334 points, 15 comments)
    4. "After the original natural grass playing surface died, the Astrodome became the first major sports venue to install artificial turf, which became known as AstroTurf." (246 points, 2 comments)
    5. ""Come Together" started as Lennon's attempt to write a song for Timothy Leary's campaign for governor of California against Ronald Reagan, which promptly ended when Leary was sent to prison for possession of marijuana:[5]" (213 points, 6 comments)
    6. "Originally titled "Brown-Skinned Girl",[11] Morrison changed it to "Brown Eyed Girl" when he recorded it. Morrison remarked on the title change: "That was just a mistake. It was a kind of Jamaican song. Calypso. It just slipped my mind [that] I changed the title."[12]" (98 points, 5 comments)
    7. "Franklin, according to his later account, used a Ruger .44 caliber semi-automatic rifle[16] to ambush Hustler publisher Larry Flynt in Lawrenceville, Georgia. In his confession, Franklin said this was in retaliation for an edition of Hustler displaying interracial sex.[7]" (63 points, 0 comments)
    8. "OneCoin is a Ponzi scheme[1][2] promoted as a cryptocoin with a private blockchain, by offshore companies OneCoin Ltd (Dubai) and OneLife Network Ltd (Belize), both founded by Ruja Ignatova in concert with Sebastian Greenwood.[3]" (27 points, 1 comment)
  5. 2386 points, 21 submissions: slinkslowdown
    1. Metamathematics is the study of mathematics itself using mathematical methods. This study produces metatheories, which are mathematical theories about other mathematical theories. (712 points, 47 comments)
    2. On December 6, 1989, Marc Lépine entered a mechanical engineering class at the École Polytechnique. He stated that he was "fighting feminism" and shot the women. Lépine then moved through corridors, the cafeteria, and another classroom, targeting women for 20 minutes before killing himself. (603 points, 77 comments)
    3. Aphantasia is a condition where one does not possess a functioning mind's eye and cannot voluntarily visualize imagery. (518 points, 84 comments)
    4. Cats and the Internet: Images and videos of domestic cats make up some of the most viewed content on the web, particularly image macros in the form of lolcats. ThoughtCatalog has described cats as the "unofficial mascot of the Internet". (214 points, 4 comments)
    5. List of last words: ""Ow, fuck!" Roald Dahl "I have not told half of what I saw." Maco Polo "I am mortally wounded … I think." Stephen Decatur (132 points, 6 comments)
    6. Voyager 1 is expected to reach the theorized Oort cloud in about 300 years. In about 40,000 years, it will pass within 1.6 light-years of the star Gliese 445, which is at present in the constellation Camelopardalis. (41 points, 3 comments)
    7. The 1927 Liberian general election: The elections were referred to as "the most rigged ever". Despite there being fewer than 15,000 registered voters, one candidate received around 243,000 votes. (37 points, 2 comments)
    8. Christine Chubbuck was an American television news reporter and the first person to commit suicide on a live television broadcast. A week before her suicide, she told Rob Smith, the night news editor, that she had bought a gun and joked about killing herself on air. (28 points, 2 comments)
    9. A cancer syndrome is a genetic disorder in which inherited genetic mutations predispose the affected individuals to the development of cancers and may also cause the early onset of these cancers. (21 points, 0 comments)
    10. The egg and wine diet is a fad diet that advocated the consumption of 3-5 eggs per day plus a 24-oz bottle of wine. (15 points, 4 comments)
  6. 2028 points, 20 submissions: Pupikal
    1. There have been several cases of exploding whales, both from gas buildup and actual explosives. Oregon used 20 cases of dynamite to dispose of a whale, showering a great area with blubber. In Taiwan, a carcass being transported spontaneously combusted, spraying whale across storefronts and people. (735 points, 17 comments)
    2. Bazooka (instrument): The bazooka is a brass musical instrument several feet in length which incorporates telescopic tubing like the trombone. It is an extension of the word "bazoo," slang for "mouth" or "boastful talk." The anti-tank weapon got its name from its resemblance to the instrument. (506 points, 14 comments)
    3. The Public Universal Friend was an American preacher born in Cumberland, Rhode Island. The Friend suffered a severe illness in 1776 and reported having died and been reanimated as a genderless evangelist named the Public Universal Friend, and afterward shunned both birth name and gendered pronouns. (413 points, 20 comments)
    4. Ytterby, Sweden: Ytterby is perhaps most famous for being the single richest source of elemental discoveries in the world; the chemical elements yttrium (Y), ytterbium (Yb), erbium (Er) and terbium (Tb) are all named after Ytterby. (142 points, 8 comments)
    5. Stephen Hopkins, Governor of Rhode Island and a founding father of the United States: He signed the Declaration of Independence in the summer of 1776 with worsening palsy in his hands. He signed it by holding his right hand with his left and saying, "My hand trembles, but my heart does not." (68 points, 0 comments)
    6. The origin of the Basques is a controversial topic that has given rise to numerous hypotheses. Modern Basque, is the only Pre-Indo-European language that is extant in western Europe. The Basques have therefore long been supposed to be a remnant of a pre-Indo-European population of Europe. (28 points, 0 comments)
    7. A distributary, or a distributary channel, is a stream that branches off and flows away from a main stream channel. Distributaries are a common feature of river deltas. The phenomenon is known as river bifurcation. The opposite of a distributary is a tributary. (27 points, 0 comments)
    8. Hessian (soldier): Although characterized in America as mercenaries during the American Revolution, Hessians were distinguished by jurists at the time as auxiliaries serving their prince sent to the aid of another prince, while mercenaries served a foreign prince as individuals.) (24 points, 0 comments)
    9. War Is a Racket is a speech & 1935 short book, by Smedley D. Butler, a retired United States Marine Corps Major General and two-time Medal of Honor recipient. Based on his career military experience, Butler discusses how business interests commercially benefit, such as war profiteering from warfare. (19 points, 1 comment)
    10. Operation London Bridge: Codename for the plan for what will happen in the days after the death of Queen Elizabeth II. The plan was originally devised in the 1960s and is updated several times each year. (9 points, 0 comments)
  7. 1981 points, 9 submissions: bdog556
    1. Armin T. Wegner was a German human rights activist who documented the Armenian Genocide through photographs and publicly voiced his opposition to the anti-Semitic policies of the Nazis. (741 points, 3 comments)
    2. "Ratlines" were a system of escape routes for Nazis and other fascists fleeing Europe in the aftermath of World War II.) (649 points, 36 comments)
    3. Erich Mielke- German who killed two Berlin police officers, fled to the Soviet Union, joined the NKVD, participated in the Great Purge, then retured to Soviet occupied Germany, serving as the head of the Stasi secret police for 32 years. (536 points, 9 comments)
    4. Estimates of the number of dead due to Japanese war crimes during World War II range from 3-24 million (13 points, 0 comments)
    5. During the famine, about one million people died and a million more emigrated from Ireland, causing the island's population to fall by between 20% and 25%.?wprov=sfti1) (12 points, 10 comments)
    6. Franklin Roosevelt’s Second Bill of Rights (10 points, 0 comments)
    7. Excessive mortality in the Soviet Union under Joseph Stalin (8 points, 0 comments)
    8. Babi Yar is a ravine in the Ukrainian city of Kiev. It was the sight of a German led massacre in 1941 that killed over 33,000 Jews in 2 days. (7 points, 1 comment)
    9. P. G. T. Beauregard- Confederate general, railroad executive, and advocate for black civil rights (5 points, 0 comments)
  8. 1936 points, 8 submissions: Boardallday
    1. The Moscow theater hostage crisis, where 40 to 50 Chechens armed with guns and large explosives seized a crowded theater, taking 850 hostages. It ended when the Russians pumped a strong fentanyl derivative into the room, causing the deaths of 170 people. (754 points, 33 comments)
    2. Louis Slotin was a Manhattan Project scientist. He took dangerous risks like diving into the operating Clinton Pile to repair a sensor. His colleague was killed doing a risky experiment on a bomb core. A year later, Slotin was killed doing the same type of experiment, when his screwdriver slipped. (688 points, 41 comments)
    3. The ARGUS-IS is a persistent surveillance system that tracks every moving object within a 15 sq mile area using drones and blimps with a 1.8 Gigapixel video system. It allows investigators to rewind it and track movements. They hover for months undetected and produce 1.8 exabytes of HD video a day. (233 points, 29 comments)
    4. Crush, Texas, was a temporary "city" set up for a one day publicity event in 1896 where two steam locomotives were crashed into each other. 40,000 people attended. They exploded, the crowd panicked, and debris came down among the spectators, killing two and seriously injuring at least six others. (217 points, 11 comments)
    5. Choanocyte cells line the interior of sea sponges, they create the water flow through the sponge. Sponges were one of the first large multicellular organisms, and these cells closely resemble the single cell protist the Choanoflagellate, the closest related protists to the animal kingdom. (14 points, 1 comment)
    6. Nuclear and radiation accidents and incidents. Descriptions and links to articles of hundreds of serious accidents and incidents involving nuclear technology and radiation. (14 points, 1 comment)
    7. A whale fall is when the carcass of a cetacean falls to the deep ocean floor. They provide sustenance for decades and form complex mini ecosystems which harbor chemosynthetic animals and bacteria. (10 points, 1 comment)
    8. Art of the Upper Paleolithic (40,000 - 35,000 years ago) (6 points, 0 comments)
  9. 1834 points, 5 submissions: sdsanth
    1. Ken Warby who dreamed of breaking the world speed record since child hood, built his record-breaking boat, Spirit of Australia in his backyard with wood and jet engines bought for just $69 and Broke water speed record in 1978 by reaching 511.1 kmph.The record still stands. (696 points, 15 comments)
    2. The Dionne quintuplets are the first quintuplets known to survive the infancy.They were seperated from the parents and placed on display multiple times a day at Quintland.They became Ontario's biggest tourist attraction of the era, surpassing the Canadian side of Niagara Falls (539 points, 17 comments)
    3. Max Planck was advised by a professor not to go into physics, saying, "in this field, almost everything is already discovered" Planck replied that he didn't wish to discover new things, only to understand the fundamentals of Physics.Plank won the Nobel Prize in Physics for discovering energy quanta. (474 points, 6 comments)
    4. Hippopotamuses produce "sweat" made of two pigments. the "red pigment" contains an antibiotic, while "the orange" absorbs UV rays. So the two pigments work together to protect the African mammals from both bacterial infections and sun damage. It also explains the misconception that they sweat blood. (97 points, 3 comments)
    5. Wikipedia references now include book previews hosted by the Internet Archive (28 points, 0 comments)
  10. 1820 points, 27 submissions: casapulapula
    1. The overthrow of the Hawaiian Kingdom began on January 17, 1893, with a coup d'état against Queen Liliʻuokalani. The revolutionaries established the Republic of Hawaii, but their ultimate goal was the annexation of the islands to the United States, which occurred in 1898. (587 points, 52 comments)
    2. The gympie gympie of Australia is the most toxic of the Australian species of stinging trees. The sting is famously agonizing and can last for months or years. (583 points, 43 comments)
    3. The El Mozote Massacre took place in and around the village of El Mozote, in Morazán department, El Salvador, on December 11, 1981 when the US-backed Salvadoran Army killed more than 800 civilians (319 points, 15 comments)
    4. The bony-eared assfish holds the record for the smallest brain-to-body weight ratio of all vertebrates. (62 points, 11 comments)
    5. An animal glue is an adhesive that is created by prolonged boiling of animal connective tissue. Stereotypically, the animal in question is a horse, and horses that are put down are often said to have been "sent to the glue factory". However, other animals are also used, including rabbits and fish. (52 points, 6 comments)
    6. German East Africa included present-day Burundi, Rwanda, and the mainland part of Tanzania. The colony was organised when the German military in the 1880s put down a revolt against the activities of the German East Africa Company. It ended with Imperial Germany's defeat in World War I. (27 points, 0 comments)
    7. The Blue Ridge Mountains are noted for having a bluish color when seen from a distance. Trees put the "blue" in Blue Ridge, from the isoprene released into the atmosphere, thereby contributing to the characteristic haze on the mountains and their distinctive color. (27 points, 2 comments)
    8. Involvement of the United States in regime change in Latin America most commonly involved US backed Coup 'd' etats aimed at replacing left-wing leaders with right-wing, usually military and authoritarian regimes. (24 points, 0 comments)
    9. Secretary of Defense Mark Esper was vice president of government relations at Raytheon, a major U.S. defense contractor. During his time at Raytheon, Esper was recognized as a top corporate lobbyist by The Hill in 2015 and 2016. (18 points, 1 comment)
    10. The Great Pacific garbage patch is a gyre of marine debris particles in the north central Pacific Ocean. Despite the common public perception of the patch existing as giant islands of floating rubbish, its low density prevents detection by satellite imagery, or even by casual boaters or divers. (18 points, 0 comments)

Top Commenters

  1. RubberDuckKeychains (627 points, 1 comment)
  2. Kayvanian (495 points, 14 comments)
  3. agent_bitchpudding (458 points, 2 comments)
  4. adescuentechable (422 points, 32 comments)
  5. cp5184 (388 points, 7 comments)
  6. TheyPinchBack (386 points, 19 comments)
  7. jonathanrdt (383 points, 12 comments)
  8. NoMobileArticlesBot (381 points, 55 comments)
  9. bttrflyr (345 points, 2 comments)
  10. 1regit (336 points, 3 comments)
  11. soniabegonia (320 points, 6 comments)
  12. elven_mage (297 points, 1 comment)
  13. sdsanth (296 points, 6 comments)
  14. shponglespore (283 points, 1 comment)
  15. i_eat_babies666 (282 points, 6 comments)
  16. softinseattle (282 points, 2 comments)
  17. De_Stekke (280 points, 2 comments)
  18. stergro (274 points, 5 comments)
  19. AlGeee (272 points, 33 comments)
  20. Papacoolie (267 points, 23 comments)
  21. Slapbox (256 points, 11 comments)
  22. RobertAPetersen (256 points, 10 comments)
  23. InksPenandPaper (246 points, 4 comments)
  24. DirtyDanTheManlyMan (244 points, 2 comments)
  25. mjc500 (238 points, 1 comment)
  26. Boardallday (231 points, 12 comments)
  27. BillabobGO (230 points, 15 comments)
  28. BussySundae (228 points, 12 comments)
  29. verynormal400 (218 points, 3 comments)
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Top Submissions

  1. When Alexander the Great’s dearest friend Hephaestion died, Alexander threw him a lavish funeral worth around £1,500,000,000. He also had a 60-metre-high pyre commissioned, with 7 layers of golden objects. Hephaestion was also worshipped as a divine hero. Shrines were erected in his memory. by Tokyono (1601 points, 128 comments)
  2. Miki Endo, a Japanese emergency worker who gave her life during the 2011 Tohoku earthquake and tsunami, by continuing to broadcast warnings and alerts over the community loudspeaker as the tsunami overwhelmed the town of Minamisanriku. She was credited with saving many lives. by Tokyono (1540 points, 12 comments)
  3. During the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake, a 10-year-old girl named Tilly Smith helped save lives by recognising the signs of an oncoming tsunami at a beach. 2 weeks earlier, she had learned about them in a geography lesson. The beach was one of few on Phuket with no reported casualties by Tokyono (1400 points, 34 comments)
  4. Christian socialism based on the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth identifies the cause of inequality now to be greed associated with capitalism. The 4th-Century bishop Basil of Caesarea wrote a sermon called The Rich Fool in which he asked, "Who is the covetous man? One for whom plenty is not enough." by blue_strat (1215 points, 321 comments)
  5. Impeachment of Donald Trump by thestickystickman (1212 points, 155 comments)
  6. The Burj Khalifa cost only $US 1.5 billion because workers were only paid around 5 pounds per day. by nsfwdreamer (1185 points, 75 comments)
  7. The Gospel of Wealth is an 1889 article by the industrialist Andrew Carnegie which urges philanthropy by the new upper class of self-made rich. He argues against wasteful extravagance or self-indulgence, encourages reducing inequality between the rich and poor, and praises high inheritance taxes. by blue_strat (1157 points, 64 comments)
  8. In 1890, two lawyers wrote an article titled “The Right to Privacy". It is regarded as the first publication in the USA that advocated a right to privacy. It describes the right as the "right to be let alone".) by Tokyono (1127 points, 50 comments)
  9. The Inca Road system was at least 40,000 kilometres (25,000 mi) long. The roads were carefully planned and maintained. They were paved where necessary, had stairways, bridges and constructions such as retaining walls and a drainage system. Only 25% of the system remains visible today. by Tokyono (1100 points, 43 comments)
  10. Karl P. Schmidt, a herpetologist who documented his own death after he was bitten by a juvenile boomslang snake. He made detailed notes on the symptoms he experienced, almost right up to the end. He died 24 hours after the bite, bleeding in his lungs, kidneys, heart, and brain. by Tokyono (1100 points, 21 comments)

Top Comments

  1. 627 points: RubberDuckKeychains's comment in The Burj Khalifa cost only $US 1.5 billion because workers were only paid around 5 pounds per day.
  2. 455 points: agent_bitchpudding's comment in When Alexander the Great’s dearest friend Hephaestion died, Alexander threw him a lavish funeral worth around £1,500,000,000. He also had a 60-metre-high pyre commissioned, with 7 layers of golden objects. Hephaestion was also worshipped as a divine hero. Shrines were erected in his memory.
  3. 387 points: cp5184's comment in I thought That the last wikipedia donation “event” (not sure what else to call it) was so successful That Wikipedia could last off the donations for 10+ years? Why are they asking again?
  4. 343 points: bttrflyr's comment in This Iranian man planned on flying to the UK to live with one of his parents. His luggage containing his citizenship paperwork was lost en route, and thus was not allowed to board his connecting flight. He spent 1988 to 2006 living in terminal 1 of Charles de Gaulle airport in France.
  5. 297 points: elven_mage's comment in CTVT, a a transmissible dog cancer tumor from a dog that died 6,000 years, but the tumor is still around today, making the original dog virtually immortal
  6. 294 points: Kayvanian's comment in I thought That the last wikipedia donation “event” (not sure what else to call it) was so successful That Wikipedia could last off the donations for 10+ years? Why are they asking again?
  7. 289 points: 1regit's comment in Wikipedia releases its image compilation of the most defining moments of the 2010s.
  8. 283 points: shponglespore's comment in I genuinely feel bad for literally not even having $2.75 to my name to donate at the moment...
  9. 269 points: De_Stekke's comment in I genuinely feel bad for literally not even having $2.75 to my name to donate at the moment...
  10. 260 points: softinseattle's comment in Female scientists' pages keep disappearing from Wikipedia- what's going on?
Generated with BBoe's Subreddit Stats
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2020.01.07 05:42 gromlyn Personal experiences from a fundie lite middle school

So I went to a fundie lite middle school back from fall 2011-spring 2014. It was run by the Church of Christ, and was located in Texas. Throughout my time there, I was bullied quite a bit, and while it sucked at the time and left me with a decent amount of trauma, some of the stories are actually pretty funny looking back.
  1. Sixth grade bible placed a huge emphasis on creationism. I distinctly remember watching a documentary where the speaker insisted that a T-Rex’s teeth were meant for crunching watermelons. We also has to do a project on the science behind Noah’s ark in science.
  2. Modesty lessons in seventh grade bible. Our teacher pulled up photos of scantily clad women to show us what not to wear. My best friend, a young lesbian, lost her shit and we both started cracking up. We got sent outside for that one.
  3. A republican congressman came to our school and spoke during our weekly chapel service.
  4. My eighth grade bible teacher was a disgusting human being. When I cut my hair short the first time and came to class, he looked me over and said, “oh, so you’re a lesbian now?” He then proceeded to keep me after class almost every day to talk about how I needed to repent or I’d go to hell. Keep in mind I was 14 at the time, and didn’t know I was queer. His harassment lead to me being closeted for years afterwards.
  5. Same bible teacher loved discussing why being gay was wrong during class and often made reference to me in these conversations. This lead to me being further ostracized and bullied.
  6. This teacher also once came over to me as I was working and listening to music (which we were allowed to do), and proceeded to pull me earbuds out and tell me that the music I was listening to was sinful and would set me down a dark path. I was listening to Green Day.
  7. Towards the end of my time there, a rumor spread that I was the anti-Christ. This was because I feel asleep in chapel due to being severely depressed and would twitch in my sleep. Apparently I made enough noise during the prayer that people thought I was possessed, which then turned into me straight up being the child of satan.
  8. My best friend and I were considered to be the most progressive couple in the school’s history because we were gay and interracial. This is especially funny to us now, because we weren’t dating and people just assumed.
I’d go into more detail about the school’s teachings, but quite frankly I don’t remember most of my time there since I’ve tried to block most of it out. These are just the incidents that stuck with me, though there are definitely more. The school was extremely homophobic, and I do vaguely remember a chapel service that focused on why being gay was wrong. I also wouldn’t be surprised if that bible teacher turned out to be full on fundie. Most of the teachers tried to kind of hide the bigotry, but not him.
Anyways, I hop y’all enjoyed these experiences of mine!
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2020.01.02 14:49 jordanbeff Album of the Year #2: Quelle Chris - Guns

Artist: Quelle Chris
Album: Guns
Listen
YouTube
Spotify
Apple Music
Bandcamp
Background
One of Detroit’s true odd-balls, Quelle Chris got his start in 2006 with fellow wordsmith Denmark Vessey, forming the duo known as Crown Nation, releasing their debut LP $lutbag Edition in 2008. Linking up with Danny Brown shortly after, Chris is credited as a writer for many of Brown’s early work, even going as far to produce several tracks on The Hybrid. In fact, they ran in such a tight circle that Quelle used the same beat from Danny Brown’s XXX on his 2011 debut solo album Shotgun & Sleek Rifle; (Quelle’s “MTFO” uses the same beat as Brown’s “Nosebleeds”).
Quelle began his rise to underground prominence after his 2017 album Being You Is Great! I Wish I Could Be You More Often was met with critical acclaim, landing at #26 on Anthony Fantano’s end of year list, #11 on Rolling Stone’s best rap albums of 2017, and #12 on bandcamp’s end of year list.
Quick to follow up what was clearly his best album yet, shortly after getting engaged to legendary underground MC Jean Grae, these two came together in 2018 to release their collaborative effort Everything’s Fine, which was somehow even more well received than Being You Is Great. It was awarded Best New Music by Pitchfork, and was hailed as the best album of 2018, landing at #1 on bandcamp’s end of year list.
After two albums in back to back years, both of which are widely regarded as his best works, a big question arose. Could Quelle keep this hot streak alive? Would he be able to continue making his unique, odd-ball flavor of hip-hop work in his favor, or would his nasal tone and eclectic beat selection come off as self-indulgence for the sake of self-indulgence? On March 29, 2019, Chris was given the chance to confirm whether his past two albums success were an outlier, or if he would finally cement himself in this decade’s underground hall of fame.
Album Review
In Quelle’s own words, from his bandcamp page:
Guns is an arsenal of both sounds, styles and subjects. At its core it’s about things that can be weaponized for good or evil, including ourselves. The words we say, what we fear, how we love, how we live, what we ingest, what we believe in, who we idolize, shit like that. Somewhat a sonic study of the question “do ‘guns’ kill people or do people kill people?
On Guns, Quelle examines not only the obvious sources of violence in American society, the literal guns, but the root cause(s) of where these violent urges stem from. “Guns” simultaneously acts as a metaphor for how institutions are weaponized to hold people down, as well as the weapons we have to fight back against an inherently corrupt system. Quelle explores these concepts with beautiful intricacy and depth.
LITERALLY (more patriotic than pie)
With a title like Guns, you might expect Quelle to utilize an aggressive sonic direction, using the beats to act as a metaphor for the loud and violent state guns exist within. However, Quelle instead opts to let his pen sprawl the concept. With the opener “Spray and Pray”, producer Dane sets the tone of the album with a simple kick and snare pattern featuring a thicc snare, while a tall, walking bassline backs the drums, creating an unsettling, yet simultaneously comforting vibe for Quelle to spit his socially conscious bars with his trademark mellow and monotone flow. At only 1:30, Quelle is able to pack a surprising amount of thought provoking bars into the brief track.
Quelle sets the lyrical tone of the album, nailing several major points regarding gun culture in America with multiple tightly packed one liners. Mentioning his original friend cohort and their eventual lifestyle change, concluding that a 401k is more useful than an AK-47. Commenting on the culture surrounding gun safety that he has experienced; where young people refuse to utilize their safeties, and how that mentality translates into adults who are intentionally reckless with their arms. The most poignant piece of commentary here is found in the bridge, where Quelle uses “all guns for hire” as a metaphor for the massive lobbying power provided to the NRA, who use that power to spread misinformation regarding gun violence in order to maintain the current status quo.
This song ends abruptly, with Quelle seemingly getting ready to go in for a second verse, when he is stopped short by…
Praying the climate changing, this game maintained by the youth
Watching 'em run and gun 'til they grow up to be like (gunshot)
...you guessed it, a gunshot. Quelle uses the opening track as an opportunity to create a library of generic gun violence talking points, almost in an attempt to get them out of the way. This is what the album would be if he were to address this deeply nuanced topic from a strictly surface level perspective. Instead, we are blessed with Quelle diving deeper into the social and cultural aspects of gun violence on the following track.
We then dive directly into the title track “Guns”, opening with a cascade of jazzy piano keys and a super smooth synth chord progression to compliment it, which then breaks into these double time opened snare claps, providing Quelle an up-tempo, bright and colorful backdrop to spit hyper conscious lyrics, beginning with the foundation as to what drives American’s obsession with guns.
Not unlike many different cultural phenomena, Quelle views the American fanaticism with guns as a learned cultural expression. He provides a few examples of how a weapon, that ideally should be used for protection, can be normalized in a person’s youth to the point where it’s not viewed as a weapon anymore. If a twenty-two caliber bullet is viewed as “more patriotic than pie”, or if you learned how to fire a weapon before you could even spell, then gun use has been deeply ingrained into your psyche and is now a standard aspect of your life. However, it’s not simply the presence of guns that has been normalized; it’s the misuse of these weapons as toys, and their appropriation as status symbols that has been normalized. The bigger your guns, the stronger you are. This is a fallacy that Quelle builds around for the duration of this album.
In the second verse, Quelle is able to extrapolate the idea that guns are an integral part of American culture, imagining himself in the shoes of someone who was raised with this world-view, reacting to some of the proposed gun control measures.
They hollering give me back my bullets, Lynyrd Skynyrd, new Van Zants
If you own it, then you'll pull it, maybe so, probably not
They spend billions like civilians won't catch trickle from the top
Just to protect or to progress what but little bit we got
Bruh-bruh, I'm your friendly neighbor, I stay on yo block
I protect and service, I big game, buckshot
Ain't no cracking that code, ain't no safety on locks
Might as well get you one, procrastinating will get you popped
After reeling from the unsurprising animosity to the proposed gun control measures, Quelle attempts to bargain with this “person” (not really an individual, more a representation of a group think). As their “friendly neighbor”, he understands their desire for protection in their neighborhood. Quelle states that even he arms himself; although, it’s likely with a hunting rifle or shotgun. Eventually realizing that there is no “cracking that code”, or getting through to them. If they are not willing to listen, nothing will change, and his only logical course of action is to arm himself at an equal level to his neighbor because, as stated, “procrastinating will get you popped”.
This verse does an excellent job of illustrating how the gun control argument in America has progressed on both sides. Instead of being clearly biased, Quelle presents viewpoints from both sides of the argument; showing how deeply ingrained guns are in American culture, and why people might be hesitant to willingly give up an aspect of their culture that they have always known. Simultaneously, it also illustrates the reaction that some people might take when their ideas to curve the widespread violence are immediately rejected; a reaction that will not only not solve the crisis, but exacerbates it. The idea that “if everyone has a gun, we would have no gun violence” only provides a sense of security on an individual level, not a systemic one.
All this is subtly expressed through Quelle’s 16 bars. As he progresses in his career, Quelle’s pen has become more and more impressive. Listening to the guy who once wrote a song called Super Fuck spew these incredibly socially conscious lyrics is almost shocking.
RACE & THE LAW (for the black, for the white, it’s for all)
“Color of the Day” is a simple skit track, taking a subtle jab at law enforcement, and how simply performing mundane activities (walking, shopping, swimming, driving) “while black” is enough to get someone stopped by the police. Really, the skit is meant to provide some context to the following track, “Mind Ya Bidness”.
Sounding like something straight out of a 1980’s video game, and further confirmed that’s exactly what Quelle was aiming for, with the music video, the self-produced “Mind Ya Bidness” is a representation of a few things. On the surface, it’s an ultra low-key flex track, with Quelle describing his night at a club. Obviously, the first thing he does before he even leaves his house, is get baked with his wife. But don’t try to take his weed, he’ll have you praying for mercy. He then heads out to the club; the catch here being that Quelle doesn’t like to stunt.
I ain't tryna stunt, I post in the back
Can't eat with them niggas, most them niggas is actors
You ain't got no homies, all your homies is rappers
If Quelle’s at the club, he’s hanging out in a back room with his ride or die friends and a shitload of weed. He mentions how he can’t hang with these “actors”, likely meaning other rappers that are putting on a facade. You may have more heads in their section, but they’re not your homies. They’re just dudes who are trying to get put on and chase clout.
The chorus outlines a small bit of social commentary with a double meaning, connecting the mellow flex-track to the overarching theme illustrated throughout the record.
'Cause me and mine 'bout to shine, that's for motherfucking sure
Feeling VIP, fill a zip full of motherfucking smoke
We got brown, we got white and some motherfucking Guinness
If Quelle feels like it’s a VIP kinda night, he’s gunna take a zip of weed and head out with his friends. In this case, it’s a mixed crowd (figuratively and literally). He’s got black friends, he’s got white friends, and he uses “Guinness” as a metaphor for his mixed-race friends, as well as the literal interpretation of drinking beers.
And ain't nobody here tripping, so mind ya motherfucking bidness
This is the double meaning that Quelle is implying throughout the song. If a group of dudes are just chilling and not causing a disturbance, then there’s no real reason for someone (a police officer) to not mind his business and leave them alone. Chris’ poignant social commentary, speaking on the systemic racism that plagues law enforcement officers throughout the US, is illustrated in the music video as well; after being welcomed into the back room of the club and bartering with a dude, he is chased by a pig and put in handcuffs, while a white dude smoking a bong right behind the pig is ignored and gets off scott free.
I COULD STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF FIFTH AVENUE AND SHOOT SOMEBODY AND I WOULDN’T LOSE
“Mind Ya Bidness” ends with this real life quote from our Orange In Chief , delivered via vocal snippet collage, introducing the topic found on the following track.
Imagine; it’s 2007 and presidential candidate Barack Obama gets in front of the press and starts talking about the strength of his campaign. He says, “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters”. How do you think this would have been received? I can tell you now, he would have been ostracized by the media and would have lost all the political support he had, nearly immediately. But Donald Trump, a person who had been in the media’s spotlight for ages before he announced his candidacy, can say this and be met with a room full of applause. LAUGHTER. A ROOM FILLED WITH PEOPLE LAUGHED AS HE STATED THAT HE COULD MURDER PEOPLE IN BROAD DAYLIGHT.
And then he went on to win the fucking presidency.
“It’s The Law (Farewell Goodbye Addio, Uncle Tom)” opens with a plucky, walking bass-line, backing these off-kilter, slowly marching kick-kick-open-snare patterns, creating a beat that’s almost dragging its way through the track; an apt backdrop for the subject matter tackled, beginning with this skit:
It's God's and Nature's Law
That man attempt to prevail over his fellow man
Better to remember, that God is white
Would you mind repeating?
God is White; and as long as God is white
We will prevail over all other races
Both of these short skits are meant to outline white privilege; the former in a very real, recent vein, and the ladder in a more conceptual, abstract lane. It’s been well documented that Jesus Christ was not white, yet he is continually portrayed as a white man. Why? Why do people who worship Jesus, the supposed Son of God, insist on viewing him through this white-washed lense? It’s all about control. As long as God, or the Son of God, is white, they will prevail.
Both of Quelle’s verses on this track are packed full of metaphors and imagery that depict how white supremacy has been a keystone building block of the foundation of the United States. I’ll breakdown the subtleties of his first verse, as I find it to have some of the most intriguing metaphors and delivery I’ve heard this year.
Let he who is without cast the first 'Get-out-of-our-country'
Oh, the hypocrisy
Another tongue in cheek ode to the democracy
To help normalize the day to day atrocities
Quelle digs into this concept with brilliance right off the bat, repurposing one of Jesus’s most famous quotes (John 8:7) to call out the double standard of people calling for a wall to keep out “criminals and rapists”
By the law of the land, as planned by the man upstairs
From Lehem with the long blonde hair
The USA was intentionally founded as a country with religious freedom, yet it has somehow been misconstrued as a “Christian Nation” by any number of religious fanatics screaming for America’s laws to more accurately reflect the “morals of the Bible.” Quelle directly references the fact that Jesus, who was born in Bethlehem, Israel, a middle eastern country, is generally depicted as having long blonde hair.
Oh, the irony
All these multi-culti hatin' whities
Who fetishize some brown on ivory
AKA bless the USA
In the true blue bloods who trust, American Way
Quelle continues to poke holes in their logic, this time with a beautifully executed double entendre. The first of which being that white supremacists, who so vehemently hate black culture, fetishize the words of a brown-skinned Jewish man as the “law of the land”. The second of which being the fact that in todays society, southern states, which are generally associated with rampant racism and hatred of black culture, search for ebony and interracial porn at a far higher rate than the rest of the country.
Hate in the name of love
Sin ain't a sin if the pen pushes them vs. us
From under the ship to behind the truck
Behind the truck to the back of the bus
Now we makin' it?
Or going back where we was?
Progress is a long road
So buckle up
The treatment of African-Americans in this country could easily be viewed as a sin. That is, unless the laws of the US condone it, and until not that recently in terms of our country's history, they very much did. Quelle outlines a brief history of how the rights of African-Americans have progressed in the US, ending with a question. Have we made it? Have we reached a point where African-Americans are considered equal? Or have we regressed? Either way, buckle up, because progress is a long road.
This is easily the best verse I’ve heard this year. Not only is it unbelievably witty and well-written, but it’s delivered with such ease from Quelle that you might not even pick up what he’s talking about on first listen because his flows are so smooth and his rhymes are so tightly packed that you just want to listen to how effortless his raps are.
This song ends with the final iteration of the chorus...
It's the law, it's the law niggas
It's for me, it's for y'all, it's for all of us
For the straight, for the coochie and the ball lickers
It's the law, for the black, for the white, it's for all
...which then brings us back to the Donald Trump quote that initially lead us into the song. This is meant to drive the point home that laws are meant for everyone; except the 1%. If you’re part of the 1%, you are more than welcome to threaten murder on national TV; hell, it might even increase your poll numbers. And while historically, the law has been used to oppress people of color, Quelle now realizes that it has moved past just oppressing one race. It’s used as a mechanism to hold people in their current social class, and does not apply to people with money. Class is the new race, which is better for the oppressors, because it’s not illegal to discriminate against poor people.
GOD (and so will I… why not?)
Religion was touched on lightly in the previous track, the implication being that religion is the basis for the laws that have been so effectively weaponized to discriminate. “Wild Minks” follows in the tracklist, continuing the theme of religion; this time with a much more metaphorical and abstract approach.
The track opens with a lone piano note, and a few simple piano chords following shortly after. A very mellow kick-kick-kick-snare pattern that sounds like it’s been sat on eventually breaks into the track. Quelle added a layer of what sounds like vinyl static to the background of this track, making it feel distinctly lo-fi compared to the rest of the album, which sounds tightly polished and clean. Maybe this is due to the Mach-Hommy feature, whose vocals are consistently muddy and mixed down, even in his own music. Either way, this lo-fi hissing does detract from the verses spit on this song, making appreciating the subtle concept even more difficult. From a sonic standpoint, I’d say this is the low-point for the album. However this sonic shortcoming is more than made up for from a lyrical perspective. “Wild Minks” is, without question, the most complicated and abstract concept approached on this record. I’m going to do my best to break it down for you here, but I urge you to read the lyrics a few times before you read my explanation. A big part of what makes this concept so unique is the perspective from which Quelle writes his verse; blending true aspects of biblical scripture with absurdism, and using that as a metaphor for today’s society.
Quelle’s verse here starts out referencing Matthew 3:4, referring to John’s shirt of camel’s hair and his leather belt as “Wild Minks”. He then lays down an intricate and descriptive verse about John The Baptist and how he lived; detailing his affinity for substances, his desire for lavish compensation, his expansive housing, his high quality furs, his expensive diet, and how he’s considered to be cultured and refined by his friend group due to these things.
Wait, back up. John The Baptist wasn’t materialistic, was he? He’s considered a Saint in the Christian faith. How could someone who enjoyed such a lavish lifestyle be a literal Saint? As it turns out, very little Quelle details in his verse here is true about how John The Baptist lived. So why fabricate this detailed verse about his lifestyle? What am I missing here?
Quelle ends his verse with the perfect summation of the subtle metaphor outlined in this track:
Johnny boy wore wild minks, and so will I
Why not?
Chris uses the “wild minks” that John The Baptist wore as a metaphor to illustrate how religious scriptures can be easily lost in translation, and misinterpreted in ways that are far, even polar opposite, from their original intention.
If John The Baptist wore wild minks, what’s so wrong about me wanting to do the same? He was a Saint, after all. First off, a shirt made of camel hair isn’t exactly comparable to a “wild mink”. Even if that’s what it was referring to, during the time he was alive, the fact that he was wearing a wild mink implies that he was living in harsh conditions; he likely hunted those animals in order to stay warm and survive. However, in today’s society, a wild mink coat is considered a lavish and expensive luxury. Viewing this scripture from a strictly surface level perspective might allow one to interpret that living a materialistic lifestyle is condoned by the Bible.
His lyrics here reflect the absurdity of what it would have been like if John was to live with lavishness, with delicate complexity, such as:
Feasting on meats that was bled from the throat
Lambs and goats
Wiping the grease from said treats on the sleeves of his coats
Matthew 3:4 literally states that John’s diet consisted of locusts and honey. Quelle outlines the habits of today’s ultra-wealthy and re-appropriates them into the context of John The Baptist; making you realize the true absurdity of the way the 1% lives today, a lifestyle that has strayed quite far from what their “God” would condone.
Quelle’s verse here very subtly summarizes how scripture can be intentionally misinterpreted for personal gain and selfishness, expressed using extremely complicated and deeply coated metaphors, all of which sound buttery and smooth flowing from Chris, thanks in part to his complex rhyme schemes. This is undoubtedly the most subtle concept in the whole album. No joke, it took me a full week of dissecting these lyrics and studying John The Baptist to piece this metaphor together.
P.S. Fuck you and your shitty DMCA takedown requests Mach-Hommy!
YOURSELF (i par up bar for bar, pa)
While the first half of this album beautifully details the many ways in which our society is designed to hold people back, the second half of this album is about how we can combat it. As individuals, we don’t have the luxury of being able to design our country to benefit the few. We must operate inside the system we’ve been born into, and Chris is aware that the most powerful weapon we have to fight back against a corrupt system is our own success. This is what “Box of Wheaties” represents.
As some of you might already know, Quelle Chris recently changed the beat on "Box of Wheaties", presumably due to sample clearance issues. When I discovered this, I went to check his Twitter to see if he mentioned anything about it, and the very first thing I saw was this series of tweets that Quelle had recently pinned. He basically goes off on hating the streaming service industry, and how we are just borrowing music from Big Brother.
Really the most essential thing to take away from this, is that buying music is arguably more important than ever. By exclusively streaming music, you don't own any of it. It can be taken away in an instant by any number of frivolous lawsuits artists are slapped with on a regular basis. But, if you buy a physical copy of an album, no one can take it away from you.
I'm extremely lucky to have had the foresight to download the album to my phone, which has not yet been changed. However, one day when the data is corrupted, I will have no option but to re-download the tracks, and I will lose the OG version of "Box of Wheaties". BUT, I have the album on vinyl. And although it was pressed with an illegal sample, there is no court that can take away my vinyl. I have that version forever now.
Initially, I wondered if I should have my review reflect the original version, or the updated version that new listeners would experience. However, it’s clear from his tweets, this new beat is not what he envisioned or wanted for this album. He put out the version with this sample for a reason. My review will be reflective of the original version.
The beat on “Box of Wheaties” (originally) samples Les Hurdle - You’ve Got What It Takes, taking the smooth guitar melody and jazzy drums, pitching them down, and looping it to fit into the slow groove of 88 BPMs that “Box of Wheaties” so comfortably rests at.
Chris opens this track with a super catchy chorus, featuring a flurry of internal rhymes and the smoothest delivery you can imagine, listing reasons as to why he thinks you should find his face on a box of Wheaties, a place historically reserved for “Champions”.
Chris has been grinding in his profession for a long time. He’s been making music for well over a decade; at this point in his career, he’s 15 albums deep. If you had paid attention, he believes you would find his work is worthy of a spot on a Wheaties Box.
Now, if Wheaties were to start including artists (musicians, writers, actors, etc.) on their prestigious boxes, would Quelle qualify? Based on his overall discography quality at this point, I would say no. In my opinion, he has three albums that are worthy of true praise and accolades, all of which came out within the last 3 years. But that’s not what Chris is alluding to with this metaphor. His point here is, being confident enough to believe that he deserves the Wheaties Box spot is a major factor in manifesting that reality.
The way Quelle delivers this hook with absolute confidence in his ability, even mentioning that his raps are good enough to “par up bar for bar, pa” with any rapper in the game today, is an attitude that society could benefit from. Put in the work and know that the accolades will follow. This is exactly what happened with Chris’ work. After grinding for 10+ years, he finally began getting noticed in 2017 with Being You Is Great. Everything’s Fine was named bandcamp’s AOTY in 2018, and he has what I consider to be the best album of 2019 with Guns. But it starts with knowing that you belong there. Your thoughts manifest your reality. Put in the work and know it will come, and it will.
SLEEVELESS MINKS (smoke em if you got em)
If “Wild Minks” represents the many ways that the elite live to excess, “PSA Drugfest 2003” represents the limited ways that the 99% live in excess. Since most of us don’t have money to blow on lavish clothing, cars, or homes, we’re forced to find ways to cope with the stresses of living in this near-dystopian wasteland, and there is nothing more cost-effective at doing so than drugs.
Acting as the follow up to his song “Drugfest TooThousandToo" from his 2015 album Innocent Country, Chris takes the concept previously explored and amplifies the message. In “TooThousandToo”, he utilizes a crowds’ reaction to his mentioning of certain drugs as the litmus test for what drugs are good and what drugs are bad, eventually concluding that weed and mushrooms are the favorites from the crowd. In 2003, Chris has evolved his opinion, throwing caution to the wind with his drug choices. This is made clear right off the bat with his opening line.
This town ain't the right size for you and I
Six million ways to fly, who's tryna die?
Chris is rapping from the perspective of the average American, looking for ways to cope with the insane stresses that the elite have forced us to live with. He isn’t looking to be picky with his high, he just wants it to distract him. He starts with the spliff, but quickly graduates to harder drugs as the weed and nicotine high “got lame”; moving up the drug intensity scale as our drug tolerance increases and our social and economic injustice tolerance decreases.
When that shit got lame, we spiced up the game
Brought out the blades and lined up cocaine
Prefer it off white, but albinos, okay
To balance out the jump, we rolled it up Js
Making one last bible reference in the chorus here, he relates the American people to the sinners of Sodom and Gamorrah, implying that we would rather be dead than to continue to live in the wasteland that we currently exist within. And let me tell you, in a certain sense, he’s not wrong.
LOVE THY NEIGHBOR (trust me tho i seen it)
The track “Sunday Mass” is sandwiched between Drugfest and “Straight Shot”. This short, one verse song, delivered by Bilal Salaam, is essentially a laundry list of mass shootings from the past few years. Bilal refers to the Pulse nightclub shooting, the Las Vegas massacre, and the Texas shooting that occurred in a Baptist church, amongst others. This is used to set up the concept of the following track.
“Straight Shot” is a representation of a couple things. One, it outlines some of the hopelessness that many of us experience due to the long-term impact of the many weapons that society has pointed at us, be they literal or figurative. We get to watch our neighbors be executed by mad-men with guns on TV on a semi-regular basis, and then walk outside to a world that is literally designed to oppress you and make you complacent. It’s not difficult to see how the combination of horrors we are subjected to regularly can make people feel like there’s no point in being here. I know for a fact that I’ve experienced it, and I’m positive plenty of you have as well. Two, it’s a reminder for people who are feeling this way that there are reasons to stick around.
Featuring a verse from Brooklyn native Cavalier, "Straight Shot" is easily one of the most gorgeous and well composed songs on this record. Melancholy piano keys and a single bass note opens the track, followed shortly by Quelle singing the incredibly soulful chorus. He seems to be on the brink of crying, with his voice cracking as he sings along. A skeletal drum kit comes in after the first iteration, followed by a choir of voices singing the bassline melody, before the full drum kit kicks off Quelle’s verse.
Chris opens the track with a verse that’s very light, describing himself seeing the good in the world. He paints a picture of himself enjoying life; making the music he loves, laughing at his past pain, and stopping to sniff the flowers. He recognizes that he’s preaching to the choir, as his fanbase are generally people who might be aware of the issues he’s been outlining during the past 35 minutes.
Cavalier follows the chorus with a verse that paints a diametric view of the world. He describes his time on “this pitiful stone” as a Sisyphus Stroll, and his desire to leave it all behind. However, Quelle’s perspective in the previous verse has brought him back from the brink. Using absolutely gorgeous imagery to describe his misery, and his eventual conclusion that there are reasons to continue on; Cavalier realizes that the powers that be are the ones making him doubt his worth, and if there’s one thing he loves, it’s an underdog story, and standing against the ruling class in today’s society is about as big of an underdog that you can be.
EAT THE RICH (i’m tryna burn this bitch down)
The lead single for Guns, “Obamacare” features this absolutely haunting, choppy synth lead pounding away until a short piano melody erupts into the enormously heavy, and honestly sinister beat drop. On the surface, “Obamacare” seems like a simple flex track, with Quelle laying down ultra-confident bars, painting a picture of other rappers being terrified to take Chris on. However, watching the music video, you begin to realize the secondary meaning that he’s attempting to outline; anarchy.
Quelle’s hook game has been massively improved, even from his last few records, with the catchy chorus starting off with lyrics that any anarchist would be proud to chant in the streets.
I'm tryna burn this bitch down, I ain't tryna break in
Fuck your opinion 'bout us, to me don't mean nathan
I brought the wave, brought the rain, brought the lake in
Eyes on the cake and yours is for the takin', wait man
Lyrically painting a picture of a society that is sick of being oppressed by the ruling class and is finally ready to rise up, Chris’ anarchist nature is made very clear in the music video. The chorus features a robber burning down a building and making off with a comically sized money bag, while a cop, in an ironic twist of fate, is stuck behind bars, as well as a literal lake of blood rising while pieces of cake, depicted as boats, float around the blood lake.
If you were look at this from a surface level perspective, you would likely see a flex track, as Quelle’s second verse particularly comes off as “look at how much better I’m doing than you”. But watching the video, it becomes clear that he’s rapping from the perspective of the 1%. We see Chris and his “friends” sitting around a table, playing cards, while his verse details some of the privileges the 1% live with; being able to gamble money away while people in the lower classes would significantly notice a few more dollars in the paychecks. Their neighbors are high ranking pharmaceutical industry members with access to any drug they can imagine, vacationing together in southern beach houses, eating steak and eggs until gout forms. These lavish lifestyles are bound to anger the lower classes, who are literally starving. Hence the chorus’ overt “eat the rich” themes.
ROMANTIC LOVE & LEGACY (and when i win, we win)
Following “Obamacare” as a much needed positive note(s) to end the record on, the album’s love song, which features Quelle’s wife Jean Grae on the refrain, might seem a bit out of place on this album at first glance. However if you’ve made it this far into the review, you can likely conclude that Chris is making the point that finding the right person allows both of you to muddle through this hellscape known as our society with a bit more ease. You hold each other up in times of darkness, and celebrate big in times of light. One person’s victory becomes our victory. Quelle and Jean married in mid 2018, and if you were looking for a compelling reason to keep going on “Straight Shot”, Quelle is letting you know his with “You, Me, & Nobody Else”.
Finally, we are brought to the closer “WYRM”. This track shows Quelle ruminating over the idea of his legacy, and how he will be remembered when he’s gone with absolutely gorgeous lyrical expertise, particularly in his first verse. He’s aware that most people who are born into this world are forgotten sooner than later, and the only way to be truly remembered is if you have a worthwhile legacy. Calling back themes previously mentioned throughout the album, he feels like he's done enough to be remembered, but don’t we all?
Will you remember me?
Am I just a moment for few to see?
Another black face rapping nigga on a cash chase?
Dozen for a dime, penny for your mind at one time?
Chris is aware of the saturation of rappers in the game now and worries that his legacy will be downplayed and forgotten due to the direction he took his art in. Rappers who are making music just for the money are a dime a dozen lately, and he’s concerned that his legacy will be tarnished due to those who aren’t in it for the right reasons.
Overview
This is by far Quelle’s best album to date, in my opinion. Guns does an unbelievably gorgeous job identifying the many ways our society has been oppressed into submission, while simultaneously summarizing how we can rise above the few and be better people for it with intricate detail. Chris’ lyrics are sharper and more layered than they've ever been, and the self-produced beats are beautiful beyond words. Guns is not only a milestone for Quelle Chris’ career, as this is by far the most cohesive and conceptually brilliant piece of work he’s ever released, but it also represents a breaking point in our society, as well as the framework for how we can better ourselves and the people around us on the long road ahead. Quelle has nailed every aspect of this project, stringing these 13 tracks together into a album that is far greater than the sum of its parts.
9.2/10
Favorite Lyrics
Talking Points
  • How does this album compare to the rest of Quelle’s discography?
  • Do you think I’m reaching with some of the points I made during this review?
  • What are your favorite lyrics?
  • How do you think this album will be looked back on in 5 years?
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